Constipation

Best take on constipation in a comic EVER!

Scans from Image's Viking #1, if you're interested. Beautiful looking comic by Ivan Brandon and Nic Klein. It's $2.99 but has the production values of a $5.99 book. Be warned the story does take a bit of work on the part of the reader, but what's wrong with that? Everything about this comic is classy, it even smells wonderful. Highly recommended.

Shopping list

Is it new comics day again? Christ, I've hardly had time to empty the contents of my nerd sack from last week. Tccch. Here's what I'll be wasting my money on tomorrow...

Conan #10

No false alarms, it's definitely out this week. I'm going to get myself in the mood by blasting Anvil of Crom at top volume on Spotify while drinking mead and whacking off over pictures of Hyperborean maidens

Final Crisis Legion of Three Worlds #4

Laughably late nonsense. I can't remember what happened in the previous three issues. I don't really care. The fact that I'm buying this is evidence of my weakness.

Green Lantern #40

Just rewatched 28 Days Later (This swine flu malarkey has me wanting to scare myself with apocalyptic virus-based nightmares) and it became obvious that the whole Red Lantern/Rage/Puking blood thing from GL is ripped off from the film. Given that the Orange Lantern (emotion: avarice) is basically a copy of golem from LOTR, I should be angry at Geoff Johns for filling my comics with derivative nonsense. Instead I love him for making an event comic that actually has me excited. This is by far and away the best mainstream superhero title on the stands at the moment and the one comic I couldn't do without.

Superman #687

Must...keep...up...with...New...Krypton...saga. 

Phonogram #2

Really? I'll believe it when I see it, which I probably won't as I doubt the new shop will get it in and I won't have time to get down to Gosh this week. 

Anyway, if you can get it then you should, as it's a clever, funny, lovely looking comic which will provide you with a much needed break from all that spandex based tomfoolery which you're too old to be reading anyway.

Astounding Wolf-Man #15

I'm a bit behind on this Kirkmanverse comic, but that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it. We've got to that stage which all Kirkman's books hit when everything you think you know turns out to be totally wrong and he flips the whole story on its head. Having read Invincible and Walking Dead, I know it's coming, but he's so good at it that I'm sure I'm still going to enjoy watching it happen. The art by Jason Howard has also got a lot better as the series has gone on.

Rasl #4

The new shop won't have this either, which is a shame as it's really good. If you see the oversized reprint of the first three issues anywhere pick it up. As long as you don't mind black and white comics (and to be frank if you do, then you're silly) I reckon you'll enjoy this intriguing tale of reality hopping. Be warned though, it's on a sloooow release schedule, and you'll probably be dead by the time it wraps up.

Sherlock Holmes #1

If this is in the shop I might buy it. No idea who it's by or if its any good, but I like the idea of a Sherlock Holmes comic, so I'll give it a go!

OMG! No Marvel titles. That can't be right. Can it?

I've come as a blue Duncan Goodhew

On my travels around the internet this fine sunny morning, I stumbled on a rather nice set of pics from some comic convention or other. I'm a bit of a nut for cosplay shots, and these are the best I've seen for a while. My highlights...

Slouching Six in a Starbuck and Boomer sandwich

Marvel group shot gatecrashed by John Stewart, non-cosplayer and Anna Mercury drag act. Nightcrawler appears to be curling one out - BAMF!

"It ends with you in tears"

"I'm downstairs, next to the bird in the top hat and fishnets. Where are you?"

Follow THIS LINK for the full gallery (and tell me if I'm wrong to be turned on by the MILF Leia).

Seduction of the Innocent

My missus says she's worried that my comics are corrupting our toddler's mind. He likes to pull my graphic novels off the shelves and look at the pictures. I see no harm in this, and enjoy the fact that he seems to find them so fadscinating. She sees things differently though, and had a bit of a go when she caught him staring intently at this cover...

...which she feels is unsuitable for a 20-month-old to feast his innocent eyes upon. 

Bah! She doesn't bat an eyelid when he's pootling around the floor of museums merrily cooing over scenes of ancient warfare or mummified corpses. Truth is she just hates comics, well most comics. She's fairly happy for me to show him my old Asterix and Tintin stuff, but she's really anti-superhero. Hates the art (she thinks it's ALL dreadful, simplistic nonsense), hates the violence and sees American comics in general as an evil influence on the minds of young children. 

Clearly then, I've shacked up with the reincarnation of Frederic Wertham!

To be fair to her, she's got a point with some of it. He's very fond of Hack/Slash Volume #1 for example. Thinking on it, that's really not very suitable, so I will move it to a higher shelf. But I really don't see what damage Godland or John Byrne's Captain America could do to him. 

I suppose in 20 years time when he's running around the streets of London dressed in spandex beating up criminals, I'll be the one to blame.

Pretty Dredd flyer

This flyer caught my eye at the new shop this week...

Very nice I thought.

It's for a comic convention in Northern Ireland, you can find out more details here

Of comics and Codeine

Hello again imaginary web chums! Thanks to everyone who took the time out to wish me well, you're a lot kinder than some of my friends who reacted to my exit from Wembley in a wheelchair by nicknaming me Davros. Cunts.

My back still hurts like a fucker, but I'm able to sit in a chair without screaming now, which is nice. And, while I am muzzy from all the painkillers, I've been reading a LOT, which has left me eager to spunk my comics muck down your fronts! 

Where to begin? Well, I'm up to speed on Spider-Man, which, given how far behind I'd got on it, is no mean feat. I'm still not sure what I think about the book. It's OK, a pleasant caper filled distraction from the real world; I don't get the "I must read the next issue NOW!" vibe off it though. Part of that comes from the fact that I find it hard to get buzzed about any of the new villains. I understand why they're there, but I think for me to really enjoy Spider-Man, I need Doc Oc, The Lizard, Rhino, The Green Goblin, Kraven and The Vulture. There you go, Brand New Day is all very nice and all, but I've had enough of all these new baddies and I'm not interested enough in all the soap-opera and political gubbins to forget the fact that I haven't seen Spidey fight one of his old foes for ages. I'll still keep picking it up though, because I like reading Spider-Man comics.

Elsewhere, I picked up Exiles #1 on Neil's recommendation. I'd never read an issue in my life and have very little interest in Marvel's mutant books so didn't expect much, but this reboot is really good. Basically, you've got all these alternate versions of Marvel heroes from various realities who are brought together by some shape-changing chap acting on behalf of Marvel's version of the Time Lords or something. They are going to have to go off and put things right in the Marvel multiverse or it'll explode. It's a bit like Sliders meets Quantum Leap only with superheroes. Easy sell. Nice pictures from some fellah whose name escapes me and the kind of knowing, funny script from Jeff Parker that has become his trademark. Give it a go, there's a Hitler baby in it!

Green Lantern Corps#35 was a riot! The usual dose of alien on alien evisceration. Of particular note this issue were the Sinestro Corps members hanging around Daxam and acting like bored frat boys before being slaughtered by Sodam Yat. Really funny stuff. Sinestro pops up at the end too. Can't beat a bit of Sinestro.

Marvel Zombies 4 #1 was also very good, although I can't remember for the life of me what happened in it. I have vague recollections of zombie amphibians attacking a cruise liner, but that's it. The magic of strong codeine has made me forget the rest. 

Captain Britain's vampire story really got into its stride with the third installment, lots of cool vampire types, Spitfire's son dressed up as Baron Blood and a cameo from Quincy Harker. Paul Cornell is drawing heavily on Marvel's Bronze age vampire mythos now, which makes me very happy indeed. If he could persuade Marvel to commission a Gene Colan variant Dracula cover for one of the forthcoming issues, I think my life would be complete.

update

Went to the football at Wembley on Saturday where my back gave up on me. Ended up being taken out of the stadium in a wheelchair and am currently flat on my back typing this on a temperamental old laptop.

Reading a lot of comics, but am so jazzed on painkillers that I can't be arsed to write owt about them.

I'll be back when I can walk.