Yes my little pumpkins, dredged from the vaults of LLC comes a terrifying story of vanity involving an old friend of mine, one Mr Frank Grogan.
Lovely man Frank, confident too. He was always willing to BALDLY go where others feared to tread, heh heh heh! Or at least he used to be until he messed with things he shouldn't have and found that there was hell TOUPEE!
But I'm getting aHEAD of myself here, we're in no rush. Come with me now, settle down in the barber's chair and prepare for a CUT down version of a TRIMendous story which I call HAIR-I-KARI!!!
You filthy little fear fans, I know what you're thinking. Get your minds out of the gutter and back on track! It's not Frank's short and curlies that have gone missing, it's his curly locks, heh heh heh!
Oh those nasty girlies, what a diaFOLLICLE way to talk to a fella! Poor Frank is CUT to the quick and desperately resorts to various hair restorers. But all the creams and lotions in the World won't work and a desperate Frank is consumed by the need to find an answer to his problem...
HELLo what's all this then? A full page newspaper ad for Satanic hair restorer. Well I'll be DAMNED! Where on earth can a man get his hands on a product like that? Heh Heh Heh! Allow me to DEMONstrate...
That's right, there was an address on that ad. The address of a shop full of shaggy stuffed animals. A shop WITCH Frank may wish he'd never found, especially after meeting it's owner...
Seems like a fHAIR deal heh heh heh! Desperate Frank's not one to HAGgle. But if you think he has any plans to marry the lovely lady then you're sorely mistaken. No, this is all he wants...
SHEAR lunacy! You can't expect to double cross a witch and get away with it. Not that Frank knows that, he's on his toes and out of there. Forgetting his betrothed, our man makes a lovely hairpiece out of that blond barnet...
HIRSUTEs you sir!
Here WIGo again eh kiddies? Heh heh heh!. But what's this? Our hero has spied someone special in the crowd...
Aaah, love is the dRUG eh? But what if this lovely young girl finds out that our hero's hiding a secret underneath that blond thatch of his? Not to worry, she's not the only one STUCK ON Frank...
The pair are quickly hitched...
Slap it on Frankie boy, heh heh heh!
A brain eating wig, what a BARBERous idea! Heh heh heh!
Oh dear, I'm not sure our blushing young bride will be keen to love, honour and obey Frank now. He's not quite his old self at all. In fact you could say he's turned into a bit of a monstHAIR!.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
All panels taken from Hair-i-kari, which originally appeared in The House of Secrets #111 in September 1973.
1 comment:
Heh heh heh! Brilliant.
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