The Crimson Virus

Comics, I've seen some women reading them, but let's face it the majority of the fan base are socially retarded males. As such comics tend to be geared towards men. Women's issues certainly don't get much of a hearing in the pages of Marvel and DC. Take menstruation for example, there aren't too many comics that deal with it. I think Swamp Thing #40 is about the most famous...

You know this issue right? It's the one where Alan Moore spins a yarn about an American housewife who lives on the site of an old Indian village where women having their period were banged up in a sweat lodge...


It's a mighty fine issue with a strong female lead.

Here's our heroine, looking suitably oppressed in the supermarket...


To cut a long story short, she gets pissed off at her bastard of a husband and the misogynistic society she lives in..



...and when she comes on, she gets possessed by some Indian werewolf period spirit or something and goes proper bonkers...


...killing her hubby and smashing up an adult bookstore...


...before impaling herself on a set of carving knives in the supermarket...



It's serious stuff. The kind of book that you give to your girlfriend to prove that comics aren't just for kids (or grown men with the mindset of kids). But you know what? In the history of menstruation themed comics it is as nothing, NOTHING, when compared to the metaphorical powerhouse of silver age genius that is Adventure Comics #313.

Seriously chums, this Legion of Super-Heroes story is the period BOMB! Yes Mr Moore, you heard me, THE PERIOD BOMB! Keep your savvy 80s, sophisticated Vertigo style comics for grown ups, the kids want this...


...terrible news indeed Superboy. And, in the world of silver age DC comics, news that no man can begin to understand. Yes, where Alan Moore used his tale of PMT to make a point about female disempowerment, silver age scribe Edmond Hamilton had a different message for the male youth of America: "Boys! Once a month women change! You cannot hope to understand what is happening! They are sick!"

Thus...




I'll tell you what's hit you Shrinking Violet, THE CURSE! And our writer Mr Hamilton knows what needs to be done...


QUARANTINE WORLD?!? While Alan Moore raged against the fact that some ancient cultures locked women away during menstruation, Edmond Hamilton appeared to think it was rather a good idea, he even packs the women off in a contraption that looks eerily familiar. Compare and contrast...


Supes really doesn't get it does he?

Aaaaanyways, obviously the crimson virus isn't really the onset of the Legionnaire ladies' periods (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) it's some jiggery pokery red krypton style ray being fired at the women by none other than...


This nasty piece turns out to have a pretty strange origin. She's an evil version of Supergirl who came into being when the original supergirl was hit by Red Kryptonite...


So let me get this straight. Supergirl gets hit by RED kryptonite which creates another altogether crabbier supergirl who calls herself satan girl. Ha! Keep your werewolves Alan Moore, THAT'S a metaphor!

You don't need to know much more. The effect of the red kryptonite wears off and all the ladies return to normal with Satan Girl disappearing back from whence she came (at least until next month)...


There is some typical Legion madness in outer space before everything gets sorted, the highlight of which comes when Bouncing Boy goes bouncing with some giant alien testicle creatures...

but there's no doubting what the story is really about. Whether the prepubescent audience at the time got it I don't know. In many ways I hope they didn't, some will have though, did they go into their teenage years fearing the onset of the crimson virus?