The Empire of Tears

Pass the tissues I just had a nerdgasm.

Green Lantern #21 (The follow up to last month's Sinestro Corps) is to blame. See there's this sequence where the Guardians of Oa have a chat about the last chapter in their bible: The Book of Oa

LIES FED TO ABIN SUR ON THE PRISON PLANET YSMAULT???? Oh man I know that story. I read it when it came out 21 years ago. Its by Alan Moore and Kev O'Neill. I have the frikkin comic its in.

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #2

Its a classic little Moore short story, which I thought had been forgotten. Basically, Hal Jordan's predecessor Abin Sur answers a distress call from a crashed spacecraft on a mysterious planet. Uncertain of his whereabouts he asks his ring (no tittering at the back please) about the world below...





Anyway Abin Sur chooses to ignore the bit about getting permission from the Guardians and makes his way to the planet's surface (a Daliesque world of horrors, beautifully rendered by O'Neill) where he meets the brilliantly named Quill of the Five Inversions...


Now Quill's a nasty piece of work, (let's face it the guardians wouldn't have crucified him and stuck giant hatpins through his tummy otherwise), but he's also something of a fortune teller and for reasons best known to himself he gives Abin Sur three questions.

Sur uses his first question to locate the distress call he has come to answer, rescuing a surviving infant from the crashed spacecraft.

His second question concerns his own fate. Quill reveals that he will die when his power ring runs out at a crucial moment and that he will be succeeded by the greatest Green Lantern ever to live, Hal Jordan.

His third question is the one that really has significance for the current Sinestro Corps storyline though...

You'll need to click on the scan below to read Quill's prophecy of doom...

It's a prophecy that appears to refer to events currently unfolding in Green Lantern. The Guardians choose to deny it by expunging it from the Book of Oa...



They might have burned it from the records but I get the feeling that the Guardians are still going to get bit in the arse by "The Blackest Night". The prophecy probably won't be played out to the conclusion suggested by Quill, but the groundwork has been laid.

I love the fact that Geoff Johns has gone back to a 20 year old Alan Moore short story to provide the basis of what is shaping up to be a classic chapter in the current comic. Hopefully we'll get to see Quill making a reappearance, perhaps O'Neill could even be persuaded to draw an issue or two. That thought is bringing on another nerdgasm.

Citizen V

I'm back in blighty, reunited with my scanner and thus able to bring you exclusive screenshots of golden age great Citizen V.


Yes Citizen V, World War II's gayest hero. A man who went into battle wearing marigold gloves, a jaunty hat and an obscenely tight pair of brown shorts.

A man who never wasted a chance to strike a camp pose.

and who dealt with the Nazis by stripping them naked, tying them to chairs and painting big Vs on their chests

"I'm going to be sure you remember this visit for a few days by tying you up, bending you over and buggering you senseless"

fabulous darling

I DO NOT FORGIVE!

Yes this is wobbly camcorder footage of a dvd, and yes you can hear the people who made the video laughing in the background, but can you deny that this clip proves The Equalizer was the best TV show EVER made? I think not.

The Weekly Shop Holiday Special #1

Let me start by sending out a big shout to the unnamed civil servant who invented Cabinet Office Briefing Room A. I have no idea who this person is, but they obviously understand that to fight an effective war on terror you need a cool acronym.

Of course with "blind in one eye" Gordon Brown now in charge of the organisation, I don't see why they didn't just go ahead and call it SHIELD. But any acronym is better than none and whilst COBRA would be a better name for the baddies, I still feel having a counter terrorist force named after a snake will strike fear into the dark hearts of al Qaeda, the IRA and HYDRA.

Al Qaeda could even rename themselves Mohammed Orders Nightmarish Goings On Overseas Sometimes Executions. I can see Osama sitting in his cave stroking his cat, watching videos like this before MONGOOSE strike.



No doubt I'll get to see more terror on the streets of foggy London Town when I return. For now my threat level remains at moderate as I continue to laze around at my mum's house in America's midwest getting fat and reading comics.It's not all sitting about though, oh no. Why only two days ago I managed to stop eating for an hour to make the trip to a real live comic shop.

The nearest one to me is Comic Carnival, a relatively unimpressive little place located in a grubby strip mall somewhere off a busy highway just outside Indianapolis. The lank haired staff were non-plussed by my requests for EC archives and Fantastic Four omnibuses, but they did take a couple of minutes out from their Heroclix themed chat to point me in the direction of a couple of cheap volumes of golden age Marvel reprints.

I picked those up along with the latest volume of Twisted Toyfare Theatre(Genius as always) and my usual stash of weekly books which excitingly enough included Criminal #8, an issue which appears to feature Michael Jackson on the cover (Smooth Criminal, geddit?)

Yah. Anyway. Top stuff. Highly recommended, but then you knew that already.

On the spandex front I picked up Green Lantern Sinestro Corps which is a thoroughly silly but entertaining romp. It's slightly spoiled by the fact that you need to be reading 20 other comics and have a solid grounding in Green Lantern history to fully understand what's going on, but if you can live with that you'll be rewarded with lots of pretty pictures of alien green lanterns fighting alien Sinestro Lanterns. For the majority of people over the age of 10 that won't be reason enough to enjoy this comic, for me it works. If the regular Green Lantern series is going to feature more of this kind of thing then I'll probably start buying it again.

I missed the X-Men First Class mini series, but heard good things about it so picked up issue #1 of the new ongoing run. It's a good read although I'm beginning to wonder if Jeff Parker ever gets the urge to write a sick, gore splattered fuckfest of a comic just by way of a break from the all ages friendly groove that he seems to have settled into.

I bought two of his comics this week, keeping the X-Men issue and handing my five year old step nephew the latest issue of Marvel Adventures: Avengers. He's familiar with most of the characters in the book and enjoyed it, although he was slightly upset by the scene where Wolverine kicks Bruce Banner in order to make him angry enough to turn into the Hulk and smash some bad guys. Obviously I didn't let the nipper loose on the latest issue of The Boys. He wouldn't have liked it anyway, not enough fighting in this issue. No doubt that will come next week.

I passed on the latest issue of Amazons Attack, but for some reason decided to pick up Death Dealer. Sadly the joke has now worn thin and I didn't even make it past page four. Rotten stuff which has gone past the "so bad it's funny stage" and is now just so bad it's boring. Shame, I'd like a good sword and sorcery funnybook to read.

Still on holiday

Some brief thoughts from the sun lounger...

Thought #1
The cover to the relaunch of Tales From the Crypt is actually pretty good.

Sadly the comic itself is crap. Badly written, poorly drawn crap at that. Don't buy this. I did. I made a mistake.

Thought #2

I take a break from gorging myself on American chocolate and coke for one lousy minute to check the internet and my whole day is ruined by this

For fuck's sake. Not only is Ant-Man one of the best ongoing Marvel comics out there, its just hitting its stride. I bet DC follow suit by scrapping Checkmate next. Wankers.

Right, back to eating, sleeping and drinking. Wish you were here and all that. Pip-Pip.

I'm on holiday

Yes I'm packing up my Essential Power Man volume #1 and heading to the USA for a couple of weeks. Sweet sunshine!

I will be doing some updates, but lack of scanners and general lazing about is bound to lead to looooooooooooooooooong periods of zero content. You will cope.

My holiday reading...

Essential Power Man volume #1
Mantlo: A life in comics
Phonogram
Exterminators vol #1 and #2
Justice Society vol #1
Skrull Kill Crew

When I finish that lot I will seek out some actual American American comic shops.

Millar time

That Mark Millar gets a lot of stick doesn't he?

Shame really. I mean I didn't particularly enjoy Civil War, but the lad's produced a lot of top quality action comics over the last two or three years, including two bona fide Marvel classics in Wolverine: Enemy of the State and The Ultimates Volume #1.

That Wolverine story, (drawn by Romita Jnr) is just amazing. Wolverine v the Marvel Universe on board a shield helicarrier. Nuff said.

As for the first volume of the Ultimates, well, I've read it three or four times and really, I think it's one of the finest Marvel comics ever to see print. It ticks all the right boxes: Alcoholic Tony Stark. World War Two Cap. A Hulk who smashes. Nazis. Aliens. Alien Nazis. All done with a black sense of humour and all drawn by the brilliant Bryan Hitch who nails every single jawdropping panel.

Honestly everything about it is beyond awesome. If I had to pick just one reason to read it though, I'd go for this fight scene. It looks like it's taking place in hell, and ends when Captain America cuts a naked Nazi/alien in half with his shield before delivering one of THE greatest lines ever uttered in a Marvel comic...






You'll have to supersize the final panel to enjoy it properly...


That my friends is as good as superhero comics get.