Drunk as a skunk!

Yes I fucking am! 

And as such I had a sudden urge to raid the wardrobe for my favourite Eagle cover...

Streetwise? 

Pffffft!!!!

The Ghost of Christmas Comics Past

Ho fucking Ho chums. Have I got a treat for you. 

Yes, dragged from the back of LLC's moth infested wardrobe I bring you an example of yellowing yuletide badness...

This abomination is what passed for Eagle's Christmas edition back in the bleak midwinter of 1982. It's jam packed with mediocre British talent burbling on about the festive season and engaging in grossly unfunny high jinks...

Yes, back in the day, comics could get away with filling their pages with shots of C celebs in shite Santa outfits decorating trees with other c celeb ornaments. What the fuck were kids meant to make of that? 

If The Game for a Laugh team weren't depressing enough for readers who had really turned up for Dan Dare, then there was always unfunny duo Little and Large to spoil things...

Click for a terrifying list of abysmal pantos

Festive Fun my arse. Not as annoying as ubiquitous 80s sports type and all round smug cunt Daley Thompson though. 

Thompson was HUGE in the 80s and appeared in The Eagle every bloody week prattling on about his tedious training regime. The Christmas issue was no different, although he did at least pull a Santa outfit over his Adidas top before proceeding to to bore the kids with talk of orgies and self-sacrifice...

My heart bleeds. 

To be fair, it wasn't all dull personalities. There are a few strips to be had including a sort of Bad Santa prototype done as monochrome photo story... 

Billy Bob Thornton it ain't. No point boring you with scans of the whole story, suffice to say the bloke dressed as Santa steals loads of toys from the department store he works in but eventually gets fucked over by the real Santa who loads up his sack with so much stuff that the crook falls down the stairs and is forced to give the majority of his swag away to needy children so that he can get out of the building. 

Yeah, made no sense to me either.

Apart from that there are some house ads for IPC's other depressing celeb based Xmas comics... 

I bet Ian Botham's "Cricketer's Christmas" was a bundle of fun eh chums? 

The only saving grace in the whole issue is the Dan Dare story which features an awesome panel of The Mekon relaxing in a giant goldfish bowl of nutrients... 

It has precisely nothing to do with Christmas which in the context of all the other gubbins makes it even greater than it actually is.  But the joy is short lived and we are quickly back to the festive theme with Eagle's ridiculous ideas for party games...

What a fucking elaborate wheeze eh? My mum would have looked at me blankly had I asked her for that lot. Bah Humbug! No wonder I was so quick to turn to the slick world of American comics whenever the chance presented itself. 

Cloning Hitler!

This is ace!

The Berlin Bunker, 1945...



Some months later in the jungles of South America...

BABY HITLER!!!!!

Get your head round this...

Hitler is his own fucking son!

My brain just exploded!

All panels from Manix: The Hitler File which appeared in The Eagle 26th November 1983.

Do not interrupt The Mekon...

...The Mekon is watching football.


Yes, I am reading way too many shitty Eagle comics at the moment.

The general public in Eagle photo stories. Number 1 in an occasional series

What's bothering these two old dears?



Panel from Manix meets the Uglies which appeared in Eagle 6th August 1983

How to spot Hitler

Panels from Manix: The Hitler File as featured in Eagle September 24th, 1983

Saturday shorts

Doomlord is here....

Take me to your wardrobe

Yes, the disintergrating collection of old Eagles I bought on e-bay has arrived. It smells of damp attics and my cat seems determined to piss on it, but I'm happy its here.

The first issue I pulled out had this on the cover...

A teaser that nearly made me puke with excitement.

A little bit of happy vomit did indeed come up when I turned the page to see this...

Only British people will appreciate the sheer wonder of this picture, which is a great shame for the rest of the world.

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I'm running late with my comic reviews this week. I did head over to Orbital on Thursday to pick up my weekly fix, but forgot that on a bank holiday week comics arrive late. That meant I had to wait until today to buy my books.

It was worth the wait for a fine selection which includes Twomorrow Publishing's history of primates in American comics Comics gone Ape and a quite spectacular second issue of Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four.

While browsing the racks for those goodies I was heartened to see that the first issue of Omega Flight has gone to a second print. Apparently I'm not the only person out there who wants a decent Alpha Flight series.

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I use a tool called statcounter on this site which allows me to keep track of the pitifully small number of hits I get.

I know from this device that there are three people who read LLC on a daily basis. One of those people is Ben, who only looks out of kindness, but I have absoloutely no idea who the other two are.

So to the folk in Canada and the USA who stop off here every day, I say REVEAL YOURSELVES (unless one of you is my mum of course, in which case I request that you leave a comment pretending you're someone cool like Stan Lee or the Red Skull).

Doomlord approaches

Gahh, just when I thought I'd got my comic buying under control I go and do this...


In case you can't see, that's a four year run of Eagle.

Christ.

It wouldn't be so bad if Eagle was a monthly, but it came out every week, so there'll be a couple of hundred of these yellowing things winging their way to me.

I have no idea where I'm going to put them all, (in the dustbin if my girlfriend has anything to do with it).

Perhaps I can hide the whole run in the bottom of my wardrobe along with my mouldering 2000ads.

YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM DOOMLORD SUTTON!