Friday, 22 February 2008

LLC does NOT recommend

Jenna Jameson's Shadow Hunter is something of a disappointment.

"No fucking shit Sherlock" I hear you cry "What were you expecting?"

Well errm, porn would have been nice. Honestly if you're going to put Jenna Jameson's name on a comic, then you should at least have the decency to include a hand job or at the very least the odd crotch shot. I mean come on, that's what your average Jenna Jameson fan is looking for isn't it?!

Sadly the only reason your going to need tissues after buying Shadow Hunter is to wipe away the tears of frustration at having wasted £2 on a seriously shit comic. The plot (as far as there is one) centres on a young woman (the eerily familiar sounding Jezeree Jaden) who sees demons. She goes to visit some past life regression hypno prof, fights a load of badly drawn monsters with a sword that pops out of her arm, gets covered in blood (not quite the warm sticky substance Jenna fans were hoping for) and finds out she's the daughter of some high ranking demon or other.

What a load of old bollocks.

The mystery of the whole thing is how the endless succession of classic porno set-up scenes don't end with our heroine getting down to some REAL business. Take this moment for example...

Ahhh yeah! Alternative methods of payment Jenna Jameson style. Crack open the Kleenex right? Sadly not. Desperate looking old landlord man just takes Jenna...sorry, Jezzarie to some nightclub where she spots her boyfriend frittering the rent money on cocktails and hos.


Then there's the scene where Jezzarie is wired up to some sci-fi hypno table by the mysterious Dr Ingersoll...

Yes another filthy old bespectacled man in a position to take advantage of our heroine: "Look into my eyes. Not around the eyes. Into the eyes" etc etc and yet NOTHING!

Gahh! Curse you Virgin comics, that's not good enough from a comic carrying Jenna Jameson's name. Can you imagine putting out a comic called Evel Knievel's Moto Devils without any stunts on bikes? How about Hulk Hogan's Fight Lords with no wrestling? Wouldn't happen. You put Jenna Jameson's moniker on your comic and I want porn!

If you can't give me a wank mag, at least give me a decent read, not this bag of old balls. The art's not bad, but the story, such as it is, reads like a hastily cobbled together stream of consciousness. I could have forgiven that if Jenna Jameson had written it herself, but she didn't. It's penned by someone called Christina Z. Sounds like another porn star, but apparently she's the co-creator of Witchblade. That's hardly a surprise as Shadow Hunter is essentially a very bad Witchblade rip-off.

I'm guessing that it won't be around for long. If Virgin keeps churning out toss like this instead of the excellent Dan Dare then I reckon they won't be in the comics biz much longer either.

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