It's Boxing Day!

which gives me an excuse to post a panel of a walrus knocking out an octopus...

and share my excitement about THIS

Bargain hunting

So this is Christmas, as I believe someone once said. Magic. Time for me to post the now traditional LLC Christmas picture. Here it is...

Third year in a row I've gone with that. Still sleighs me (geddit?)

Anyway, this Christmas is vastly improved by the fact that Christmas Eve doubles up as new comics day. Quite a busy one at that. I'll be making the trip to Gosh to pick up my festive haul of colourful tat, and I hope to be back four days later for the start of their sale. No ordinary sale this one either, they'll be slashing a host of hardcovers to half price which is going to make shopping at Gosh cheaper than shopping at Amazon. On top of this I can report that the majority of back issues in the basement are now priced at one shiny pound apiece. No rubbish either, all recent stuff in NM condition. Them's some good deals folks!

I'll be splurging the £20 note which Auntie Vi always slips in her Christmas card on some of those goodies. But I have to admit that my bargain hunting has already begun. Yes chums, I've been spunking my dosh freely at The Borders liquidation fest over the past week or two. Picked up some great stuff at 40% discounts (Detroit Metal City vols 1+2, Darwyn Cooke's Spirit vols 1-3, Essential Punisher vol 1) then returned to snaffle up Essential Ghost Rider Volume Two for a fiver on 50% off day, then yesterday braved the post-apocalyptic style clusterfuck of 90% off day at Angel Islington.

Of course the shop had been stripped of most of the decent stuff by the time everything was slashed to 90% off, but this didn't stop the bargain hungry mongs of N1 from fighting over battered copies of Patrick Mower's autobiography and the like. So crazed was the feeding frenzy, that the soon to be jobless staff were forced to make several announcements telling people not to hit each other in the quest for cheap tat.

Blimey.

I still managed to dig out a few treasures in the scrum - Gene Luen Yang's American Born Chinese (£1.70) some crappy compendium of old Western comics (£1.40) and the George Pellecanos novel, The Night Gardner (40p). I'm going up west tonight and am very tempted to stop off in the Oxford Street branch to see if there's owt lying about worth snaffling up. Doubt it, but today's the last day so I feel obliged to check since I'll be in the vicinity.

After that I'll be returning home to wrap presents and eat huge amounts of food. Huzzah! I hope you have a super time too and that Santa unloads a sack of colourful comic goodness all over your eager faces.

See you at the Gosh! sale.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas to...ME!

The kind soul who gave me THIS delivered 22 assorted 2000AD, Judge Dredd and Starlord annuals to my motherlovin' door!

Ho-Ho-Ho indeed.

And now...

...Super Friends #30!

That is exactly how I would react in this situation

Uncomfortable moments in comic history...

Remember kids: Intelligence...

...is no match for a punch in the face

Greatest panel ever?

Here is the news

Horrible hangover + lively two-year-old son = PAIN

Scan from Iron Man ~#127

Big Dave F's Nerdgasm Quiz Part III

Good morning imaginary web chums! I'm off to a Christmas do today, so no time for any sort of comic content. Thankfully my good pal Big Dave F has provided me with a report on his latest quiz night. Sadly I wasn't able to attend this excellent event, but by all accounts it was a beezer night!

Here's Dave's report...

Its been over a week now and still the sounds of nerdish laughter and merry making echo through my mind. Yes, I’m still riding the crest of the resounding, successful wave that was Big D’s Nerdgasm Quiz III.

The previous quiz was a humble affair with a paltry 12 people – three teams and four prizes. Dom had rustled a team up, and my old friend Mr. Wheatley graced the venue - taking time of from his busy schedule of fighting Madonna’s film crew. A modest smattering of other nerds were sprinkled around the pub. Unfortunately sometimes a small crowd can be harder to control than a large one, with Dom’s team, (drunker than Tony Stark at happy hour), calling out answers, shouting encouraging slogans like: YOU NERDY CUNTS to other team members and leaving their 3^rd place prize – a squishy Silver Surfer – crushed, desolate and beer-stained under the table for me to find when clearing up…. Poor, poor Norrin. I had never thought the theme to Battlestar Galactica could be turned into a football chant…. I was proven wrong.

But, like a mother who’s children can do no wrong, I still loved them and sent them invites for Nerdgasm III… None of them came.

No matter. Like Hulk’s strength my enthusiasm was boundless. I laboured to promote the event and it paid off. Eight teams and a total of over 40 people - nerds of all denominations, shapes, sizes and comic preferences flocked to my banner. It felt like I was in the cantina at Mos Eisley and I had the death sentence in 12 systems. Why, even The tattooed lady brought friends in Star Wars t-shirts, ensuring that females too played a part in this male dominated arena.

Prizes were many and nerdtastic: Hulk v Juggernaut figures, Marvel magazines and posters, the 2009 updated hardback Marvel encyclopedia, and the first appearance of Wolverine – Hulk 181 – in the form of boxer shorts (Nerd size). Another more seasonal gift pack was an action figure Jesus on wheels, some Last Supper after dinner mints, and a Holy Toast maker (you can imprint your own toast with an image of the Virgin Mary).

The highlight of my evening was meeting a new friend, an LLC regular, Eye-Melt (AKA John) what a man! Astounding his team with his nerdy knowledge, he assured them a first place and took the Hulk boxers for his troubles. He even had time to yarn with me about Herb Trimpe’s fantastic Hulk 161 cover, although I had to refresh his memory with the name of the half-man, half-fish and all hate antagonist: AQUON! For those of you who haven’t read the story arc, it is, (and make no mistake), a fucking corker! Hulk helps overthrow an underwater tyranny so that these deep sea dwellers can have their life-long wish of life on the surface. But their squat bodies are so used to the depths and pressure of 20,000 fathoms that they all begin to burst into bloody pulps as they rejoice in the sunlight, while Hulk looks bemusedly on… Magic! Hope to see many more of you at future quizzes.

Big D out

As new as the hydrogen bomb!

Click the image to make the invisible visible

Ad from 1953, reproduced in Hey Skinny: Great ads from the Golden Age of comic books

A Christmas Story from Mega City One

It's Christmas Day in Mega City One and Judge Dredd is on the city wall, looking out over the Cursed Earth. He's sent word to the starving mutant masses gathered at the gates that the good folk of Mega City One are going to make them a Christmas gift of food...

Stupid Muties should know better of course...

Guess again shitheads...

And so...

HO! HO! HO! Another cheery mass execution. Merry Christmas readers!

Scans from 2000AD #450, December 28th 1985 (with art by Steve Dillon)

I wouldn't give this artist the time of day

To Gosh! Where, along with my usual stack of overly violent superhero books, I picked up a few cheap all ages comics from the back issue bins for my two-year-old to rip to pieces. He likes his colourful pressies, particularly his copy of Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #51, and naturally I'm happy that he's enjoying learning some early life lessons through the age-old educational medium of costumed vigilantism.

My missus seems OK with him looking at these toned down tales too. She does have a slight issue with the full page ad for X-Men Forever in the middle of the Spidey book which features a pretty scary looking drawing of Sabretooth. Her main gripe though, is with the opening splash...

It's not Paste Pot Pete's spooge gun that raises her hackles, it's the clocks. She gets that this is The Daily Bugle and that they've got a bunch of clocks showing different time zones pinned to the wall. What she doesn't understand is how it can be five past four in one city, ten to two in another and twenty to five in a third.

Excellent, my son's first proper comic and there's a whopping great mistake on the first page! Get used to it kid!

ADD: While I'm on the subject of introducing kids to comics, here's a pic posted by a proud father on a comics message board...

"Daddy, why is the man sticking his tongue in the rotting cadaver's mouth?"

The leaders of the secret army of spies and terrorists

A corking 70-year-old Fletcher Hanks panel. The guy in the blue suit is a ringer for Bill Clinton, no?

Scan from "Presidential Assassination" by Fletcher Hanks originally printed in Fantastic #1, December 1939. Reprinted in I Shall Destroy All The Civilized Planets, Ed Paul Karasik, 2007.

A lame superhero

Boo! Rubbish! But this character would be redeemed in my eyes if that last panel was a literal representation of her power in action. In other words, if her head triples in size and detaches from her body in a hail of purple healing beams, she's fucking cool. If not, she's lame.

Those scans are from Adventure Comics Presents Dial H For Hero #489. I used to love Dial H For Hero when I was a lad. But, after buying several issues for 30p at last Sunday's mart, I realise it was bollocks. For those who don't know, the basic premise of the comic was that kids could send in their ideas for superheroes . The best submissions would then appear in the comic. There were some really bad ones, worse than Unicorn even...

Actually, Jelly Woman sounds quite good. I'll have to track down a copy of Adventure Comics #488 to see her wobbling greatness in action.

Quick Bits

Very quickly...

COMPETITION

Received an email from Patrick Wensink. Apparently he's got a book out: Sex Dungeon For Sale.

Sounds spiffing!

Anyway, to celebrate the release of said book he's having a colouring competition. The winner gets a copy of Michael Kupperman's Tales Designed To Thrizzle Volume One.

If you fancy a pop at that, HERE'S where to go.

Well worth winning that prize. Tales Designed To Thrizzle is flipping Ace!

PODCAST

If you love issues 189 and 190 of The Justice League Of America as much as I do, then you need to listen to a man talk about them! Yes, I've gone so bonkers on these issues that I actually sought out a podcast about them. It's by a chap called Tom Katers, (of Around Comics fame), who's recorded his thoughts on just about every issue of the Justice League to have seen print! He's in the process of doing the same thing for The Flash.

Hardcore.

HERE'S a link to the page with his review of the Starro issues. I imagine I'll be listening to the rest of these in the near future. Top stuff!

ART!

Superheroes Picasso stylee!

Great Starro panels of our time

Ripping the piss out of old comics eh, it's as easy as shooting starfish in a barrel. BUT, don't forget chums, old comics may be easy to mock, but they're also brilliant. Take Justice League of America #189, a typical piece of Bronze age silliness in which Starro the Starfish Conqueror takes over Manhattan.

Now I love Starro, but he is a bit daft - an intergalactic megalomaniac who also happens to be a telepathic starfish? It's an idea straight out of a '50s B movie, so naturally any comic in which he features is going to have an element of camp schlock about it. Yet, for all the silliness in JLA #189 there are also some genuine moments of genius, including one amazing panel which has gone straight into my list of all time favourites.

Here's the set-up: Back in Adventure Comics #451, Starro's efforts to take over earth are thwarted by Aquaman. Long story short: Starro takes a good fucking hiding and is sliced into calamari-style pieces. One of his suckers floats around for years until a young boy fishes it out of the water. The sucker takes over the boy and his parents, forcing them to restore it to health by feeding it protein. It's during this process that we get this...

Click the pic for a closer look

How creepy is that? There's dad and his little lad standing in a pile of rubbish, opening tin after tin of food, while mum kneels on the floor (still in her apron) ladling gloop into toddler Starro's blowhole! It's magnificent, proper horror! A surreal subversion of happy family life which would grace the wall of any modern art gallery, (well I think so anyway), and the kind of panel which stops me in my tracks and makes me remember why I love comics so much.

Perhaps he is a bit silly, but come on folks, admit it - HUNGRY TODDLER STARRO IS THE HORROR BOMB!

Scan from JLA #189, April 1981. Art by Rich Buckler and Frank McLaughlin

Market Value

That it is Cap, that it is. And never more beautiful than when the comic mart is in town.

Look...

Yes, ageing nerds on Woburn Place. A fine sight that signals the coming of December's stinkfest at The Royal National. Ah, those empty nerd sacks, soon to be stuffed to bursting with cheap tat! Fills my flabby manbreast with excitement so it does.

I heard several dealers moaning about the sparse crowd at this month's event, but to me it seemed pretty packed - surprisingly so given that Christmas is round the corner. I certainly had trouble getting through the crowds to the bargain longboxes, I even ended up having a pop at one social inadequate who spread himself across three boxes and refused to move to allow anyone else a look. The tosser ignored my polite request to budge up, so I gave him and his wheelie case a shove. Ha! Take that you filthy imp. LLC picking on weedy nerds since 1972. Have it!

Once he'd been moved, I was able to dive in and retrieve a good number of yellowing goodies. Let's have a bit of a rundown shall we? First, and most exciting, JLA issues 189 and 190 for 30p a pop! WOOT! In case you don't know that's these babies. Oh yes, BOLLAND STARRO covers. Magnificent. Top story too. Read it in bed last night and will be taking a closer look at it in an upcoming blog entry.

Also purchased for 30p - Flash #304. It's probably pants, but I thought the cover was a beaut'...

Hi-tech shit man. Colonel Computron sounds like a complete cunt!

Added three more 2000AD progs to my collection (37, 44 and 57) for a combined spend of £2.75! Picked up Warren Ellis' collection of CBR columns, Come In Alone for £2.95. Snaffled up the first trade of Image's Proof for a fiver and lingered over the Tomb of Dracula Omnibus for a long time before deciding against and grabbing a couple more cheap single issues instead for a grand total spend of...£11.85. Good haul!

On the way out I had a look at the VERY expensive comics on this stall...

Bit of a blurry pic, sorry, but note the fact that the boxes are positioned facing the wall and that there is no direct access to them from the main floor. To get to them you had to get the approval of the dealer before filing down past a wall of hugely expensive key issues. Every one of those boxes is probably worth five figures. Heavy stuff, those old boys in the photo were ready to part with huge amounts of wonga. Different world.

Away from the comics, there were more DVD stalls than I'd seen before. The mart seems to have become a bit of a meeting place for collectors of obscure films and TV series and it looked to me like the DVD dealers were doing better business than their comic counterparts. I watched these duffers spend a hefty wadge on dodgy looking Al Jolson flicks...

...before moving on for my traditional trip to Heroclix man's stall. Nothing tempted me this time, but I was taken by this display of £1 Hulks trying to smash their way out of their bargain box...

Grand stuff.

Captain America in London scan from Captain America #305, May 1985 (25p from yesterday's mart)

Adventures in appalling cover art #1

I went to the mart today. I was not tempted to buy this...

Original cover artwork for an issue of Look-In featuring the "hilarious" Freddie Starr in all his comedic glory. Love the choice of colours. You wouldn't want to look at that with a hangover would you?

Who the fuck would hang this atrocity on their wall? Freddie Starr? I reckon even he'd balk at it.

More on the mart tomorrow.

Reminders

Quickly then (got the missus and son staring at me, waiting to go out)

Tomorrow: Dave's Quiz. I can't go, but you should, it's brill.

Greenman & French Horn pub St. Martins Lane WC2N 4EZ 6.45pm

Also there's a mart at The Royal National. I might make that.

Right, eye-daggers being thrown.

Check this out...

Items

Item One

Saw the latest issue of Superman (which of course doesn't feature Superman) proclaiming "A bold new direction for Mon-El!" and immediately dropped all Superman Family books. I dunno, maybe I'll catch up on the whole flabby New Krypton crossover this weekend and change my mind, but I really haven't been enjoying this padded out piece of robbery much. The Mon-El/Guardian stuff in Superman has been a complete bore. The Supergirl saga leaves me cold and the Flamecunt and Nightprick bollocks in Action Comics is a total drag. I have enjoyed the New Krypton series, but it's pretty much unreadable unless you buy the other three Super titles and, to be honest, I'm not sure I like it enough to keep doing that.

Item Two

Had a shufty around Orbital on Saturday - the missus was looking in the antique bookshops on Charing Cross Road so I thought I might as well slope off for a bit of a mooch. They really have done a good job on the place. It's definitely the go-to-shop for back issues in London, there are thousands of single issues in there, thousands. I believe that their manga store has closed down which is a shame, but they have maintained a decent selection at the main store. The art gallery is still in place and there's a vintage movie poster store opened in another of the alcoves towards the rear of the store. The small press section is brimming with obscure zines and photocopied comics and, of course, all your current spandexery is available at the front of house. Lovely shop and well worth checking out if you find yourself with some time to kill.

Item Three

I'll still be picking up my weekly fix from Gosh though. Here's what I'll be loading up on this week...

Blackest Night - Flash #1

Johns and Kolins on The Flash. This is the only Flash I need to read. I'm a fan of Kolins, even liked his Omega Flight mini, and nowhere has he ever been as good as on Johns' Flash. He's a much better choice for the crackly, zippy world of speedsters than the detail obsessed Ethan van Sciver.

Blackest Night - Wonder Woman #1

I loved the start of Gail Simone's tenure on Wonder Woman. All Nazis and apes so it was. It went a bit dry after that though so I ditched it. Is she writing this? I dunno. Haven't got time to look because my son will be waking up in a minute. I'll buy it anyway.

House of Mystery #20

Err. I'm nine issues behind on this, so the real mystery is my continued support of a book which I'm no longer reading. There will come a day when I get time to read it. On that day I will realise that I don't like it. So it goes.

Mighty #11

Ah, now, I'm three issues behind on this, but that's OK, cos there's only one more issue to go after this one and then I'm going to read the lot. I heartily recommend you pick the entire story up when it's traded too because it's a little dark gem.

Sweet Tooth #4

The adventures of Deer-Boy and Clint Eastwood. A comic which successfully draws on sources as diverse as Bambi and Mad Max, Sweet Tooth satisfies my need for post-apocalyptic-road-movie-style-shenanigans while stealthily pulling on my clogged heartstrings with some good old fashioned weepy bits.

Thor #604

Hmm. I HATED Stracyzinski's run on Thor. Really HATED it. I mean it might've got good, but after two issues of the Thunder God wandering around small town America doing NOTHING, I gave up. Several folks have called it brilliant so maybe I should go back and read it, but in the meantime I might give this issue a look becasue it's written by Kieron Gillen. I'm hoping he knows that the God of Thunder needs to be smashing people over the head with Mjolnir A LOT! We'll see.

On a train. Can't even do body text on this poxy phone. Anyway, updates will resume when friends stop geting married and relations stop dying

Artist needed

Friend of LLC, Den Patrick has written a comic and he needs someone to draw it.

Anyone out there fancy it? Check out his project and get in touch with him HERE

Cod and strips

To The Green Lanes Fish Bar for chips and a chat about manga with the comics-loving husband and wife team who do the frying. You know that these folks are into their manga and anime, because the walls of their chippie are covered in framed pics of manga characters. They also do a neat little sideline in toys and statues, lining up Japanese action figures for sale alongside the onion vinegar and ketchup. It's a strange combination. I wonder if they ever sell any of the toys.

The fellah is the real comics nut in this relationship. He tells me that he has been collecting since 1969 and fondly recounts the days when he used to go down to Forbidden Planet in Denmark Street for his fix of American comics. His interest in superheroes has waned since then, but he's still crazy for the manga, especially the Chinese stuff that he used to pick up in Hong Kong as a lad. I brag about the piles of comic-related tat that clog up my house, and his missus rolls her eyes as he tells me of his huge collection. He recommends something called Storm Riders to me, his favourite series, it's been going since the '60s apparently.

I confess that I don't know much about manga but recommend Uzumaki and The Drifting Classroom to him. He hasn't heard of either, and to be honest I doubt whether they'll be his cup of tea, but you never know. He has read 20th Century Boys and tells me that the film adaptation is also worth checking out.

I'm tempted to buy one of his robot man-toys, but I don't. I must resist the lure of man-toys. I pay for my chips - very nice they are too - and say goodbye.

Here are some exciting pics of the manga chippie...

Next nerd quiz/Link from Mr W/Tea and Hanks

Just been sipping some tea from a pot, eating a jam scone and reading "You Shall Die By Your Own Evil Creation" the second volume of the collected comics of Fletcher Hanks. What a top time! I fucking love comics (and tea).

The Hanks book is brill. Perfect accompaniment to a nice drop of Assam, and a fitting follow-up to yesterday's recommendation: Prison Pit. Hanks produced some crazy strips of course, and they are beautifully reproduced here, but the book is also worth buying for a nice intro from Paul Karasik which contains some very early Hanks art and a brief history of his life and death. A brutal alcoholic who kicked his four-year-old down the stairs before deserting his family completely, Hanks packed in comics in the early 40s, disappearing from the public eye and dying in 1976 as a drunk down-and-out on a park bench.

So, a thoroughly disagreeable chap who wasted his life and talent. Not quite the fairy-tale it could be, but he did leave a legacy of some very strange and angry comics AND it should be noted not only did he draw them, he wrote, lettered and coloured them too. Top stuff.

On to other matters: Dave F has fixed a date for the next Nerd Quiz - Sunday December 6th from 6.45pm at The Greenman & French Horn pub, St Martins Lane, London's magical West End. I'll big it up again nearer the time, but just thought I'd mention it nice and early now.

A nice link from Mr Wheatley to a blog about an upcoming Judge Dredd fan film. Looks fairly decent.

That is all.

LLC Recommends: Prison Pit Book One

Prison Pit by Johnny Ryan begins with a huge phallic drill descending from space to fuck a barren planet in the arse, and ends with a prosthetic alien slug arm sucking off the main character as he lies slumped in the desert. In between these two magical moments there's a fight with a jizz monster and an attack from a villain who shoots a scythe made out of hardened alien Nazi pus from his nipple. Knowing all this should be enough to convince you that this is a book which belongs on your bookshelf. In case you need to know more though, here's a brief outline of the plot...

Some MMA wrestler type guy is about to be dropped down the shaft of a huge cock drill for some crime or other (probably) which he may or may not have committed. In an attempt to escape he takes one of his guards hostage, but it turns out that the other guard hates his colleague anyway and he shoves both men down the rabbit hole!

Prisoner and guard tumble down and down, fighting all the way until they eventually find themselves in The Prison Pit, a barren dimension filled with cactuses, bleak crags and cock-shaped bones. The asshole in the sky closes and there they stay. After an extremely bloody scrap our hero eventually kills, pisses on and eats the guard and chops off his razor-clad arm to use as a weapon.

After this he stumbles on a strange slug-like creature which is slurping up the manky juice of a cactus-like tree. Repulsed by this sight, hero kills the slug and is immediately confronted by a trio of baddies led by a devil-skulled Nazi wrestler with a gigantic mace instead of a hand. Nazi informs him that the creature he's just squashed is in fact a Slorge, a beast which digests the slime of the Blugg tree and shits out fecid, a drug which (and I quote) "makes you feel like you're the #1 most fucking awesome maniac!"

Anyway, it turns out the dead Slorge belonged to the Nazi devil skull wrestler and his cohorts. He orders our hero to find him a new Slorge, but hero declines. A mad fight with Nazi's sidekicks ensues. Hero appears to have won but is eventually beaten when he has his arm chopped off with a pus scythe. Nazi tells him he won't get it back until he brings a replacement Slorge back from the wastelands of the Prison Pit.

Hero sets off to find a Slorge, and does just that. Unfortunately this Slorge belongs to a multi-eyed naked twerp who wanks off until he is surrounded by a cum monster type construct which hero has to fight. The monster gets the better of him drowning him in jizz.

Lying dead in the desert, our hero is resurrected when the Slorge attaches itself to the stump where hero's arm used to be! Fecid surging through his system, hero rises from the dirt to kill and eat Jizzman. Now bonded physically (and it would seem telepathically) with the Slorge, hero feeds his new arm with juice from the Blugg tree and is then given a blowjob by the slug arm. Book One ends!

I don't have much more to say really. It's as good as it sounds - like something written and drawn by a disturbed 13-year-old on crystal meth. Every bit as hard and tasteless as Ryan's previous outings in Angry Youth Comix, yet fundamentally very different. This is first and foremost an action comic and fans of action will love it. I thought it was brilliant and hilarious, but clearly, it is also very, very offensive. I like offensive, you may not. Either way this is a comic that has to be seen to be believed and deserves your attention.

Briefly

Hey-ho imaginary web chums! Been doing tons of reading and not much 'putering. There's also lots of family stuff going on so, you know, writing streams of unimportant bilge about men in leotards has had to take a back seat for a few days.

Real life eh? Wank isn't it?

Hopefully I'll get a bit of time to write some stuff tomorrow. In the meantime here's a picture of Conan saying bollocks...

Magic!

Scan from Conan The Cimmerian #16 (November 2009)

Break

Off to brave the flood plains of South West England for a few days. I shall be taking the following reading material with me...

Drifting Classroom vol 6

Invincible: Happy Days vol 11

Jersey Gods 1-9

The Forever War by Joe Haldeman (a 35-year-old novel with no pictures for crying out loud)

Cities In Flight by James Blish (yet more ancient SF prose)

Essential Spider-Man Vol 1 (for my son who likes to leaf through the black and white pages while telling me stories of Spidey and Rhino's trips to Sainsbury's).

Back next week. Ta-ra!

Covers

Evening all. Can't stop long, as I'm planning to read some comics before flopping out. Just a brief note on a couple of luvverly covers from today's haul...

This stunner from Mike Allred makes me sad about how far behind I've fallen on Jersey Gods. It's a beautiful hybrid of indie and silver age which captures the spirit of the book perfectly. I'm going to get back on track with this very soon.

EDIT: Just received an email from Jersey Gods artist, Dan McDaid. He read my previews yesterday and offered to send me all the issues of Jersey Gods for free! I told him that there was no need as I already have all the issues in a nice pile waiting to be read, but I am bowled over by his offer, and it makes me want to ensure that as many people as possible go out and read Jersey Gods. It's a brilliant book, Glen Brunswick's writing is amazing, the covers are always ace and not only is Dan McDaid an incredible artist, he's also clearly a top, top bloke! So, go on imaginary web chums, support nice, talented people: BUY JERSEY GODS!

Message ends. On to the next cover...

"Look at my huge motorcock!"

Block out the title and substitute Batman and Robin for a stricken Holly Johnson, cos this looks like a lost Frankie Goes To Hollywood album cover to me. Hints of Prince too. Whatever, it's a proper piece of pink magnificence on a par with this...

Can't wait to get stuck in.

Shopping List

Good morning. Today I will be taking my son to a toddlers drop-in where I will meet with other mothers and debate the inability of toddlers to share. Later, we two men will leave the women and return to our lair for lunch and Essential Spider-Man revision. Then we will rest in preparation for tomorrow when it will once again be time to lash the nerd sack to the buggy and hit the West End for some comics. Here's what I'll be stashing alongside the nappies and Sudocrem...

Action Comics #883

The tedious adventures of Nightprick and Flamecunt. Why am I buying this bilge?

Batman and Robin #6

Three cheers for Phillip Tan! Aye, you heard me right fanboy! I know it's quite the thing to wank off over Frank Quitely and then use the Tan issues to wipe yourself, but I haven't got my knickers in a twist about the artist change up on Batman and Robin because I happen to think Tan is doing an excellent job. Told.

Comic Book Comics #4

I can't believe this is out. It's so fucking good that I'll probably read it in the shop, on the bus and again when I get home. A genuinely fine piece of scholarship and a top comic too.

Drifting Classroom Vol 6

In volume 5 loads of kids caught the plague. Kids who didn't have the plague chased the sick kids around and stabbed them to death with sharp sticks. '70s manga is the b@mb!!1!

Gravel #15

Oh fuck, I'm about six issues behind on Warren Ellis' Hellblazer rip off now. I like it so I keep buying it. Mind you, I haven't been reading it, so it might've turned shit in the last few months. I reckon it's about 70/30 to still be good.

What kind of a fucking preview was that, eh? Tosser.

Green Lantern Corps #42

Zombie alien shenanigans. I'm the only person who isn't completely bored of this aren't I?

Irredeemable #8

Behind, behind. Can't remember what's happening, dum-de-dum-de-dum.

That issue where The Plutonian killed Singapore made me laugh, so I'm still getting it.

Jersey Gods #9

Bollocks, I'm six issues behind on this and it's fucking brilliant. What a wanker.

Phonogram #5

I've already mentioned that I'm too old for this comic. I'm also far too stupid to understand all of what's going on and don't know anything about any of the bands referenced throughout. To be honest it leaves me feeling a bit like an ageing father trying to tap his feet in time to his teenage child's favourite band. I like it though and fuck my old boots if it isn't pretty.

Rebels #10

Mental starfish from space vs conceited alien. The dog's bollocks. Can't believe I forgot about it when I was listing DC's good comics yesterday. Cunt.

Rambling stream of comics conciousness

Nothing much of any interest to say today -what's fucking new, right? Just a few bits and pieces that have been running around my head of late. Number one: Marvel's actually quite a bit better than DC at the moment isn't it? I mean I'm enjoying my Blackest Night and all, but if you look at Marvel they've got all the cool writers - Hickman, Aaron, Fraction, Remender, Brubaker, Millar, Ellis, van Lente, Abnett & Lanning, Cornell, Diggle. That's quite a list. I'm not saying that the writers at DC are shit, I mean they've got Johns, Morrison and Rucka, but the geezers at Marvel are hipper, funnier, edgier and dare I say it, younger (I think).

The whole Norman Osborn Dark Reign bollocks bores me, but you know...Old Man Logan, Ghost Rider, Cap, The Fan Four, Secret Warriors, Iron Man - those are all top quality comics. I'm not even reading Hercules, Daredevil, The Guardians of The Galaxy, Nova or The Punisher, but I hear they're all brilliant too. They can't fail to be when you look at the calibre of creators working on them. It really is an amazing line-up. In fact I'd say you could pick up just about any Marvel book at the mo and enjoy it - take Doctor Voodoo for flip's sake. Two issues in and it's fucking brilliant. Really. Remender writing a mental voodoo story with all sorts of A list baddies. Great art from some fellah whose name escapes me (sorry) and a lot of it is set in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans which in itself is a fantastic idea. Issue two has all these demons running about in the wrecked city killing the population. It's the perfect setting - Nightmare in New Orleans! Brilliant. Where else are the demons going to go but a disaster-hit city mired in despair and misery?

Meanwhile, nothing much seems to be happening with DC's books. I'm soldiering on with the whole New Krypton saga, but it really isn't much good at the moment and it's costing a lot to keep up to speed with the stodgy story. Blackest Night? It's good, but I reckon it must be a turn off to a lot of people who aren't heavily invested in the DCU. Flash Rebirth has been terrible thus far and seems to have disappeared completely. Wednesday Comics was good. Batman and Robin is brilliant. Nothing else is really getting me excited, although I am enjoying The Mighty which is set outside the DCU.

Anyway, I'm once again trying to force myself to drop some titles and it's the DC stuff which is looking most likely for the chop at the mo. Meanwhile I'm having to force myself not to pick up all the Marvel books.

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Grabbed a copy of 2000AD the week before last. Been enjoying the old stuff so much, I thought it was time for one of my yearly attempts to get into the current incarnation of the comic. Nyeer. It was OK.The Dredd story was enjoyable enough, but the rest left me a bit cold. There's this one story about a war between Heaven and Hell where a naked woman strolls about being asked to give blowjobs to demons. I'm reading it and thinking, fuck's sake, you couldn't give this to a kid to read. Which is a shame really, because the beauty of classic 2000AD as far as I'm concerned is the way that it offered up subversive, independent thinking in the guise of adventure stories for kids. Yes there was violence, but it was over the top, slapstick stuff. There wasn't any bad language or sex and you could happily bung it on the bottom shelf at the newsagents. I know that the market for the thing is 30+ men now, but for me it's lost what made it great. Anarchic comics for 11-year-olds, that's what I want, even if there isn't any demand.

Pictures of tourists who accidentally stumbled into Dave's quiz

Stroppy Canadian biddies asking Dave to turn down the theme tune to Lost In Space...

Shut it Zelda!

Later: Confused Spanish tourists are ordered to hold up a sheet of Doctor Who monsters...

before doing a runner...

We got a team together (Thanks Mr Wheatley, Gareth and the cuntishly funny Duncan) sadly we finished last. Oh well, at least I knew that the full name of Mr Sin is in fact Mr Sin AKA The Peking Homunculus. This makes me better than you.

I hope there will be a quiz next month, (c'mon Dave, you know you want to), I'll keep you posted.