Thursday, 25 February 2010

The Dark (K)night returns

The night is filled with fever dreams of grappling hooks and X-Ray vision scans of Joker's henchmen. Something sucks the stale air and hisses. Just the cat. Don't worry. Don't worry. Back to sleep. Day comes. Not enough rest. Too soon the pains start across my triceps and chest. I keep forgetting how much harder everything has become. I almost tread on a piece of Lego on my way to the bathroom. Spot it just in time. Lucky. Lucky old man.

This has to stop, I have a toddler to look after. There he is, smiling. Good soldier. He wants breakfast. So do I. In my gut the creature writhes and snarls and tells me what I need... Batman:Arkham Asylum. NO! Rice Krispies! Yes, Rice. Krispies. Not thinking, I open the cupboard, crockery falls out. Hits me like a freight train. The plates hold. Lucky again. Twice now.

The day passes. The family sleeps. I've come alive again. The night is mine again. On goes the Xbox. Damn your corrupt save, with its flashing exclamation mark. Damn it. It's too late. Should be in bed. Need to rest. Not now! Not tonight. I'm back in the game! Bane attacks. He charges blind. A quick one to the nerve cluster in his deltoid. It doesn't hurt him. But no force on earth could help him move his left arm now.

2am. Something tells me to stop. STOP IT! I don't listen to it. A wolf howls. I know how he feels. It ends tonight, Joker!

with apologies to Frank Miller.

6 comments:

eye-melt said...

Holy shit! And I used to think Mariokart was a bad influence...

Anonymous said...

Very good, but please tell me you don't know all that dialogue off by heart!

Anonymous said...

Hahah, fantastic!

pulpsfromthebothy said...

I think you need help buddy.

Anonymous said...

I was laughing so hard it stopped me from beating the wife...
Great stuff Dom!
Masterful...

Goli Mar,
D
PS. I thought those other Anonymous' were me... But there not...hmmm...

Dom Sutton said...

eye-melt: Arkham is like crack to me. Horrible.

Pulps: I do! I considered buying the hints book!

Dave: "Hahah" sounds distinctly Wheatleyish. I could be wrong.

As for the other anon...all gentlemen should memorise The Dark Knight, sir!