The Horror!

So, apart from clunky old Green Lantern stories, what have I been reading? Horror mostly. Yup, I'm on a definite ghoulish tip at the mo. Reread some of the classic old stories from Creepy Archives #1. Not enough for me, so I snagged a second hand copy of volume two for twenty quid online. Hopefully that'll arrive in time to sate my lust for '60s terror tales. There's real black magic at play in those old Warren comics, I'm telling you.

In the meantime, I'm making do with current day chillers. Walking Dead Volume 10 took me all of half an hour to blast through and, as usual, left me feeling like I needed to watch an episode of The Cosby Show or some other similarly pleasant sit-com to restore my sense of well-being and mental balance.

Honestly, every volume of this book gets progressively more depressing. All of the main adult characters have now reached varying degrees of insanity, while the children are completely and utterly fucked up. Still, top notch stuff. Although, given that it takes about five minutes to read through a single issue, I don't know how anyone manages to read it on a monthly basis.

There's a less visceral sort of horror going on in Warren Ellis' Frankenstein's Womb. Indeed, I suppose you could argue that this piece of biographical fiction isn't horror at all. It's not a Frankenstein's Monster story really, (although he does narrate the story), but rather an examination of the forces at work in Mary Wollstonecraft's life that led her to write Frankenstein. Given that those forces are the very same ones that underpin Frankenstein itself, I think it's fair enough to call this a horror story. Marek Oleksicki's art, (which draws on the classic look of Bernie Wrightson and Angelo Torres at their most ghastly), certainly imbues it with a suitably gothic look.

It's a great piece of work which I rated highly enough to try and get my comics hating girlfriend to read. She passed on it, her loss. What with this, Crecy and Aetheric Mechanics, I think it's safe to say that Warren Ellis is doing his best work for Avatar at the moment.

Off the stack

Hey ho imaginary web chums! I hope all is well in your comic world. I've been enjoying plenty of sequential jollity over the last couple of days - much of it top notch. 

First off the stack Walking Dead TP #9. As per usual I read this latest installment from back to front in double quick time. I can't say Mr Kirkman's big seller is my favourite comic, but it's certainly the one I gobble up faster than any other. Won't spoil the latest volume for anyone who's not up to speed, suffice to say a good number of the surviving characters are now going properly bonkers (as you would if faced with the zombie Apocalypse). There are also a few new faces introduced in this volume, a device which provides the book with a nice (and frankly timely) injection of fresh blood.

Also recommended is Gravel, one of Warren Ellis' many projects for Avatar. We're up to issue #8 in this story of ex SAS magician Gravel's run-ins with Ellis' fucked up version of the Magic Circle. Gravel is part John Constantine, part Michael Caine and, I suspect, part Warren Ellis. Composite character he may be, but don't worry, his murderous rise up the ranks of Britain's magical hierarchy has been a rip-roaring, gut-splashing hoot. If you missed the first seven issues I'd recommend you pick them up in trade. When Ellis can't be bothered his comics are a drag, but when he's enjoying himself, as he clearly is here, there are few better writers. Gravel is a sharp treatise on Britain's enduring class system, but above all it's an action-packed comic which I can't recommend highly enough.

As far as the big two go, Final Crisis #6 was as excellent as the preceding five issues. Obviously the whole Batman thing is the big news (or at least it would have been in any week other than the one where Obama teamed up with Spider-Man), but the best part of FC #6 was undoubtedly the fight between Kalibak and Tawny - can't beat some good old cat on cat comic action. Woot!

Read the last couple of Matt Fraction's big Thor one shots for Marvel. Rich, meaty comics that are best read with The Anvil of Crom playing in the background and a flaggon of mead close at hand. Honestly, for a man who says he doesn't like fantasy, Fraction writes a fucking mean Thunder God. His take on the whole Asgard thing is MUCH BETTER than the regular Thor comic which I binned after two issues of mind numbing nothingness. Fraction's stories are rammed full of Frost Giants, Dwarves and Asgardian Gods knocking crap out of each other. It also helps that all of the books have featured the work of top notch artists. You're going to want to pick this one up in some sort of pretty harcover when it's eventually collected.

Special Guest Stars

Afternoon chums. I can't be arsed to wank on about the contents of my nerd sack today, so instead I've turned my blog over to two of my dearest old pals. First up, rising televisual star Mr Wheatley has taken time out from his hectic directorial schedule to provide me with his new web comic. Feast your eyes on this black and white treat...

If that's not enough for you, then have a butchers at Hulk-Loving antique dealer Big Dave F's latest e-mail to me in which he spouts off about his Missus and her new found love for comics...

Shucks! We’d all like our girlfriends or spouses to be part of our universe. Sadly most of us geeks don’t have girlfriends, let alone spouses who are doomed to endure us never growing up. But there are those exceptions that would prove the rule. The rare breed of female who is a regular to the shelves of the local comic shop or has a level 58 Druid on World of Warcraft. But as nerds we have more or less accepted that our penchants will be kept to ourselves, and our company shall be restricted to that of other nerds.

My long suffering wife hates comics and hates zombies. Now I know I’m a little late onto the bus, but I started reading The Walking Dead. Excellent! Not the best comic I’ve read…. no Spandex…. no underpants on the outside… no punching and smashing for freedom…. no what I know and love… but great nonetheless. I love zombie films, and Kirkman understands good zombie epics are about the people involved as much as the flesh eaters themselves. It’s the human side of things that make the story. It was this that led to my epiphany - my wife would love this story, nay she must love this story! For truly, Eastenders has nothing on this Human/Zombie epic!

The love of Dave's life...and his wife (Kerrrrching!)

I knew no matter how I begged; she would not even pick up a comic under her own volition, let alone read it. So, putting on my Ringmaster’s hat complete with hypno-disc (a la Circus of Crime)….. No not really, instead, I had a plan. Most females have a weird want to spend ‘quality’ time with us…. Hmmm I thought.

‘How would you like me to read to you tonight, my dear?’ I asked nonchalantly.

‘Errr… Yeah that would be nice…’ She responded as a look of puzzled wonder flashed across her Hun-like countenance.

That evening I sat her on my lap (errr…. bear with me) and began reading her the comic. Walking Dead #1. Yes, complete with accents, girly voices and sound effects. My gun shot is particularly good I’m told. By issue #10 (we reached it in one sitting) she was hooked. Waiting attentively by my comic box as I got home every night for another portion of the Zombie Holocaust.

At the stage of my writing this prose, she has put thumb to comic and leafs through pages like a seasoned pro. (Well nearly… ‘Ooh not so rough dear, and do put them back in their plastic sleeves please…’) She is even ahead of me! Issue 52, where as I am only on 39.

Here my tale ends, but perhaps I've given hope to the few of you nerds that have real partners as opposed to imaginary ones. Now as roleplay in the bedroom she even dresses up as a U.S. Marshall and I shamble around the bed trying to eat her brains… Huzzah!

Thanks to both of today's guests, by doing my work for me they've freed up valuable time for me to surf the net for porn and old Minder clips. If you'd like to help out, then send your submissions to the e-mail address in the sidebar. I'll publish any old gubbins. Cheeri-pops!

Sickening...

...yes sickening! Sometimes I appall myself. How can a man of 35, with a young family to support possibly consider it right and proper to spend £43.73 on comics?

Seriously, I'm not Paul Gambaccini or Jonathan Ross, I can't justify spending extortionate amounts of dosh on comics every week. Heaven knows I'm rapidly running out of space to store the bloody things. And yet, when I go into Forbidden Planet and see DC Showcase: Wonder Woman volume 1 on "special offer" for a mere £8.99, well let's face it I'm going to buy it. After all, that's a bra-busting 527 pages of black and white Amazonian action, and what red blooded dork can say no to that kind of offer? Not me pal.

Similarly when I see volume 7 of The Walking Dead, I have to buy it. I can't possibly wait on Amazon to deliver me this one, it's going to get read tomorrow and that's that. Walking Dead = best horror comic nay best comic out there. Thankyou Mr spotty goth cashier here's my £8.50.

While we're at it have another £2.99 for 2000AD Extreme, because there is absolutely no fucking way I'm missing out on a magazine that collects the entire run of Mean Team, a future sport spectacular whose roster of characters includes a psychic panther drawn by none other than the mighty Belardinelli. Honestly it's awesome and I would have melted into a pool of man fat had I not come home with this in my grubby little nerd sack.

I probably didn't need to bother with Back Issue #24 or Alter Ego #72 after all they set me back £9.25 for the pair. Really, £9.25 for two magazines? Yes, really, £9.25 to read some fanboy pour his heart out about Amethyst Princess of Gemworld and Captain Carrot. Christ buying that shit officially makes me ill.

No matter, I will make myself better with a fine pile of floppies! Top of the stack and first on the read list is obviously Green Lantern Corps #16 or to give it it's proper title The Sinestro Corps War part 7. It's the best multi-part extravaganza I've read in years, or at least the one which features the most aliens beating shit out of each other in space. I love it, and as soon as I'm finished here I'm going to sit down and read the latest episode.

After that I'll move on to the second of the one shot tie-ins to the series: Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman. Obviously I realise that the mere sight of me reading a comic with the words Cyborg Superman on the cover is likely to make my girlfriend realise she is living with a deeply unattractive social misfit, but that's a risk I'll just have to take.

Perhaps she will look more fondly on me for reading Action Comics #856: Escape from Bizarro World part two. After all there's nothing childish about reading a comic co-written by the man who directed the Superman films and drawn by adult favourite Eric Powell. Very grown up.

As is Midnighter #12, a comic which features a gay super-hero. Oh yes, nothing frivolous about spending £2 on that, especially when you read it in conjunction with Detective Comics #837.

Mercifully this issue of 'tec sees the return of Paul Dini to writing duties. I can't remember the name of the guy who wrote the last two issues, but after the drivel on offer in #835, I've yet to be able to face #836 and might just leave it to go yellow and unread in the corner.

That's a fate that definitely won't befall either Lobster Johnson #2 or Modok's 11 #4, two titles which pack as much fun as is humanly possible into comic form. I'll be bagging those little beauties up and adding them to the hundreds of other expensive funnybooks which are slowly taking over all the much needed space in our flat.

Huzzah for comics!