...yes sickening! Sometimes I appall myself. How can a man of 35, with a young family to support possibly consider it right and proper to spend £43.73 on comics?
Seriously, I'm not Paul Gambaccini or Jonathan Ross, I can't justify spending extortionate amounts of dosh on comics every week. Heaven knows I'm rapidly running out of space to store the bloody things. And yet, when I go into Forbidden Planet and see DC Showcase: Wonder Woman volume 1 on "special offer" for a mere £8.99, well let's face it I'm going to buy it. After all, that's a bra-busting 527 pages of black and white Amazonian action, and what red blooded dork can say no to that kind of offer? Not me pal.
Similarly when I see volume 7 of The Walking Dead, I have to buy it. I can't possibly wait on Amazon to deliver me this one, it's going to get read tomorrow and that's that. Walking Dead = best horror comic nay best comic out there. Thankyou Mr spotty goth cashier here's my £8.50.
While we're at it have another £2.99 for 2000AD Extreme, because there is absolutely no fucking way I'm missing out on a magazine that collects the entire run of Mean Team, a future sport spectacular whose roster of characters includes a psychic panther drawn by none other than the mighty Belardinelli. Honestly it's awesome and I would have melted into a pool of man fat had I not come home with this in my grubby little nerd sack.
I probably didn't need to bother with Back Issue #24 or Alter Ego #72 after all they set me back £9.25 for the pair. Really, £9.25 for two magazines? Yes, really, £9.25 to read some fanboy pour his heart out about Amethyst Princess of Gemworld and Captain Carrot. Christ buying that shit officially makes me ill.
No matter, I will make myself better with a fine pile of floppies! Top of the stack and first on the read list is obviously Green Lantern Corps #16 or to give it it's proper title The Sinestro Corps War part 7. It's the best multi-part extravaganza I've read in years, or at least the one which features the most aliens beating shit out of each other in space. I love it, and as soon as I'm finished here I'm going to sit down and read the latest episode.
After that I'll move on to the second of the one shot tie-ins to the series: Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman. Obviously I realise that the mere sight of me reading a comic with the words Cyborg Superman on the cover is likely to make my girlfriend realise she is living with a deeply unattractive social misfit, but that's a risk I'll just have to take.
Perhaps she will look more fondly on me for reading Action Comics #856: Escape from Bizarro World part two. After all there's nothing childish about reading a comic co-written by the man who directed the Superman films and drawn by adult favourite Eric Powell. Very grown up.
As is Midnighter #12, a comic which features a gay super-hero. Oh yes, nothing frivolous about spending £2 on that, especially when you read it in conjunction with Detective Comics #837.
Mercifully this issue of 'tec sees the return of Paul Dini to writing duties. I can't remember the name of the guy who wrote the last two issues, but after the drivel on offer in #835, I've yet to be able to face #836 and might just leave it to go yellow and unread in the corner.
That's a fate that definitely won't befall either Lobster Johnson #2 or Modok's 11 #4, two titles which pack as much fun as is humanly possible into comic form. I'll be bagging those little beauties up and adding them to the hundreds of other expensive funnybooks which are slowly taking over all the much needed space in our flat.
Huzzah for comics!