Childcare

My son Jack learning how to care for comics and identify the costumed vigilantes found inside.

Educational content courtesy of The Essential Amazing Spider-Man Volume One

Good Times

Today is my son's 2nd birthday! We watched a Spider-Man cartoon on Youtube before hitting the park and eating chocolate cake for lunch.

Yay!

BONUS FEATURE!

Enjoy the same animated treat that we did.

I'd forgotten that '60s cartoon Spidey speaks with the voice of a stern 50-year-old...

more quick reviews

Amazing Spidey #600

Strong start, but that big Spidey story is too long. Nice art and all, but there's a bit of padding going on in there. As for the rest of the stuff - still haven't read it all, but the Stan Lee story is rubbish and a complete waste of Marcos Martin's considerable talents. Soz, but it is. I've taken this issue as a jumping off point.

Asterios Polyp

I realise that a lot of people are pronouncing this one of the finest works of comics genius ever produced, but David Mazzuchelli's graphic novel is a bit poncy for me. Yeah, he's doing lovely things with the medium, It's all very clever, looks absolutely stunning, makes fantastic use of white space etc etc etc, but the story didn't grab me and I didn't understand all the gubbins about philosophy and art.

I prefer Red Hulk.

Yes, I'm a fucking philistine. Please accept my apologies.

Creepy #1

I didn't dislike this reboot of the old horror mag, but it didn't blow me away. The best thing about it was the reprint of the old Toth story. I'll probably be back for more, and it's considerably better than PaperCutz's godawful reboot of Tales From The Crypt.

Christ, that was all a bit negative wasn't it?

Very short reviews...

So yeah, I was going to write some sort of review of the first two Red Hulk trades wasn't I? No time, no time. Soz. Maybe Tuesday. Put it in your diaries...Tuesday: avoid reading Sutton's bilge on Hulk book that no-one else likes.

Briefly then...

Green Lantern #44: Martian Manhunter comes back from dead. Has fight with Flash and Green Lantern. John Stewart experiences enjoyable "Oh fuck" moment. Terrific fun.

Captain Britain #15: Last issue of cancelled series. Wraps up Dracula story. Features Space SAS who would've been a lot cooler if they didn't look so much like Buzz Lightyear...

Blackest Night Tales of The Corps #2: Throwback to the '80s GL Corps Annuals which Geoff Johns plundered for his run on GL. Nice short stories about aliens, and a bonus hokey explanation of all the various lantern colours and their symbols by Ethan van Bonkers.

Amazing Spidey #600: Read the first few pages before falling asleep. Rest of the comic could be utter pony for all I know, but as a spin on what it means to be a super-villain, this little four pager on Doc Oc is brilliant.

Captain America #601: After some humming and hawing with Mr Salmond, I eventually settled on the black and white variant of this Gene Colan pencilled special. Listen, some of the art is a bit ropey, but equally some of it is utterly glorious. Given the fact that Colan is a half-blind octogenarian, this rates as an absolute triumph.

Watched...The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters: Super documentary film about man-boys and their obsession with old school arcade games. If you haven't seen this, then go grab yourself a torrent, it's a rich study of emotional retardation and the near autistic world of competitive retro gaming. STEVE WIEBE FTW!

Of comics and Codeine

Hello again imaginary web chums! Thanks to everyone who took the time out to wish me well, you're a lot kinder than some of my friends who reacted to my exit from Wembley in a wheelchair by nicknaming me Davros. Cunts.

My back still hurts like a fucker, but I'm able to sit in a chair without screaming now, which is nice. And, while I am muzzy from all the painkillers, I've been reading a LOT, which has left me eager to spunk my comics muck down your fronts! 

Where to begin? Well, I'm up to speed on Spider-Man, which, given how far behind I'd got on it, is no mean feat. I'm still not sure what I think about the book. It's OK, a pleasant caper filled distraction from the real world; I don't get the "I must read the next issue NOW!" vibe off it though. Part of that comes from the fact that I find it hard to get buzzed about any of the new villains. I understand why they're there, but I think for me to really enjoy Spider-Man, I need Doc Oc, The Lizard, Rhino, The Green Goblin, Kraven and The Vulture. There you go, Brand New Day is all very nice and all, but I've had enough of all these new baddies and I'm not interested enough in all the soap-opera and political gubbins to forget the fact that I haven't seen Spidey fight one of his old foes for ages. I'll still keep picking it up though, because I like reading Spider-Man comics.

Elsewhere, I picked up Exiles #1 on Neil's recommendation. I'd never read an issue in my life and have very little interest in Marvel's mutant books so didn't expect much, but this reboot is really good. Basically, you've got all these alternate versions of Marvel heroes from various realities who are brought together by some shape-changing chap acting on behalf of Marvel's version of the Time Lords or something. They are going to have to go off and put things right in the Marvel multiverse or it'll explode. It's a bit like Sliders meets Quantum Leap only with superheroes. Easy sell. Nice pictures from some fellah whose name escapes me and the kind of knowing, funny script from Jeff Parker that has become his trademark. Give it a go, there's a Hitler baby in it!

Green Lantern Corps#35 was a riot! The usual dose of alien on alien evisceration. Of particular note this issue were the Sinestro Corps members hanging around Daxam and acting like bored frat boys before being slaughtered by Sodam Yat. Really funny stuff. Sinestro pops up at the end too. Can't beat a bit of Sinestro.

Marvel Zombies 4 #1 was also very good, although I can't remember for the life of me what happened in it. I have vague recollections of zombie amphibians attacking a cruise liner, but that's it. The magic of strong codeine has made me forget the rest. 

Captain Britain's vampire story really got into its stride with the third installment, lots of cool vampire types, Spitfire's son dressed up as Baron Blood and a cameo from Quincy Harker. Paul Cornell is drawing heavily on Marvel's Bronze age vampire mythos now, which makes me very happy indeed. If he could persuade Marvel to commission a Gene Colan variant Dracula cover for one of the forthcoming issues, I think my life would be complete.

Nice finds

To the new shop where EVERYTHING I'd asked for had been pulled, AND copies of The End League and Charlatan Ball had been specially ordered. Wow! Looks like we have lift-off. I 'fessed up to having gone elsewhere to buy EL and CB, but boss man was fine with this and assured me that now that they have my list down pat, I will be receiving all my books (indie or otherwise) on time. What's more, he tipped me off to a cheap DVD player that plays avi and DivX files from USB sticks. This kind of technology might be old hat to you young'uns, but it's a revelation to an old luddite like me. I can't believe that for £35 I'll be able to watch my dodgy downloads of Sliders from the comfort of my sofa. Joy.

So, I left the shop a happy man. Well, I almost left the shop. As I was making my way to the door, I decided to have a quick shufty through the back issues (something which I had thus far neglected to do) FUCK THE DUCKS! Want to see what I got for £19?

That's four issues of The Amazing Spider-Man, including the first appearance of The Rhino, the second appearance of The Lizard and the first appearance of The Shocker. They're all in the G to G+ range and a bargain at that price.

Huzzah for the new shop! I believe I have made my peace.

Off the stack

Hey ho imaginary web chums! I hope all is well in your comic world. I've been enjoying plenty of sequential jollity over the last couple of days - much of it top notch. 

First off the stack Walking Dead TP #9. As per usual I read this latest installment from back to front in double quick time. I can't say Mr Kirkman's big seller is my favourite comic, but it's certainly the one I gobble up faster than any other. Won't spoil the latest volume for anyone who's not up to speed, suffice to say a good number of the surviving characters are now going properly bonkers (as you would if faced with the zombie Apocalypse). There are also a few new faces introduced in this volume, a device which provides the book with a nice (and frankly timely) injection of fresh blood.

Also recommended is Gravel, one of Warren Ellis' many projects for Avatar. We're up to issue #8 in this story of ex SAS magician Gravel's run-ins with Ellis' fucked up version of the Magic Circle. Gravel is part John Constantine, part Michael Caine and, I suspect, part Warren Ellis. Composite character he may be, but don't worry, his murderous rise up the ranks of Britain's magical hierarchy has been a rip-roaring, gut-splashing hoot. If you missed the first seven issues I'd recommend you pick them up in trade. When Ellis can't be bothered his comics are a drag, but when he's enjoying himself, as he clearly is here, there are few better writers. Gravel is a sharp treatise on Britain's enduring class system, but above all it's an action-packed comic which I can't recommend highly enough.

As far as the big two go, Final Crisis #6 was as excellent as the preceding five issues. Obviously the whole Batman thing is the big news (or at least it would have been in any week other than the one where Obama teamed up with Spider-Man), but the best part of FC #6 was undoubtedly the fight between Kalibak and Tawny - can't beat some good old cat on cat comic action. Woot!

Read the last couple of Matt Fraction's big Thor one shots for Marvel. Rich, meaty comics that are best read with The Anvil of Crom playing in the background and a flaggon of mead close at hand. Honestly, for a man who says he doesn't like fantasy, Fraction writes a fucking mean Thunder God. His take on the whole Asgard thing is MUCH BETTER than the regular Thor comic which I binned after two issues of mind numbing nothingness. Fraction's stories are rammed full of Frost Giants, Dwarves and Asgardian Gods knocking crap out of each other. It also helps that all of the books have featured the work of top notch artists. You're going to want to pick this one up in some sort of pretty harcover when it's eventually collected.

WTF?

oh dear

oh dear, oh dear, oh dear

And let's not forget the sheisters at Wizard...

They're also doing a slabbed version for the low, low price of $59.99!

All together now...

groan.

Meanwhile

Looking after poorly son, hence lack of updates.

Here, have a pic of naked Spidey...

Tales from the nerd sack

I don't care what anyone says, Mark Millar is a fucking genius.

Yes, he's a hype mongering tart. Yes, his comics are cynically manipulative and yes, he shamelessly plays up to his 30 something audience by pandering to their shared sense of nostalgia. BUT honestly, who the fuck cares? Not me chums. Not me! I say bring it on. And bring it on he has with Kick-Ass #3, a comic which may just be the best superhero book on the stands this week.

Yeah that's right: THE BEST SUPERHERO COMIC ON THE STANDS! Why? WHY?

A Samurai sword wielding nine year old girl chopping a bad guy's head in half!!
That's Why!

Now I know Kick Ass is an Icon book, and that Millar couldn't get away with this sort of thing in a regular Marvel book, but this is the kind of high octane, over the top violence that screams MARVEL at me. It's the stand out panel in a book that is pacey, punchy and packed with action. It's drawn by Marvel legend John Romita Junior who crams every brutal panel with energy and movement. And, most importantly, it's a smart, wisecracker of a story, which is just the way Marvel comics should be.

To be fair, there are writers working in the mainstream Marvel Universe who understand that Marvel's books should be the comic equivalent of amphetamine. Matt Fraction for one. The first two issues of his Invincible Iron Man book have been top quality. There's no fucking around here, Iron Man gets on his suit and blows things up.

Open up issue two and you get Iron Man tackling M.O.D.O.G.* and his goons on the first two pages. No nonsense, no preamble, just bang, bang, bang. Like Kick-Ass, this is mighty Marvel action that barely lets up from start to finish. In short, it's a brilliant Marvel comic with which I have just two gripes...

GRIPE 1: the moment Fraction introduces this lot...



..you know they're all going to die. I'm not spoiling anything by saying that, it's just a fact. Anyone reading this issue will look at that panel and know instantly that this team are being set up as cannon fodder. There's an argument for saying that this is deliberate, but I don't think it is. Either way it's hardly a shock when they get wasted.

GRIPE 2: Oh God, please no! Not the dreaded rainy comic book funeral scene...


Sheesh.

Listen though, forget those gripes, they don't really matter. This is a great comic.

So that's my two favourite books of the week out of the way, what about the rest? Well I enjoyed Vertigo's House of Mystery #2 a lot. Regular readers (hi mum!) will know that I loved this title when I was a kid, so buying the relaunch is a no brainer for me.

Sentimentality aside though, I have to say that I like this new version a lot. The central story has a bit of the same vibe as LOST about it, while the short stories that you'd associate with the original House of Mystery remain true to T.H.O.M. spirit. It all makes for a respectful take on a classic DC title, and I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Elsewhere, props go out to Amazing Spider-Man artist Marcos Martin who is drawing the bejesus out of Spidey in the latest arc. I think this is the first time I've seen his work, but it really is special. I'd call it a cross between John Romita Junior and Darwyn Cooke with a dash of Ditko for good measure. The man is clearly going to be big star (Best cover since the relaunch by the way).

*Mental Organism Designed Only for Genocide

lol

Shopping list

I have piles of comics to read at the moment, but that won't stop me buying more this Thursday. Here's what I'll be shoveling into the old nerd sack..

Umbrella Academy Apocalypse Suite #6 (Of 6)
The first couple of issues in this series were excellent, but #3 and #4 were garbled and poorly paced. I haven't read #5 yet, but perhaps the whole thing will work when read as a whole. If not I can still get a few quid selling the set + Free comic book day prelude to some EMO kid on e-bay.

Checkmate #23
Reading Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps from start to finish has been rewarding, I get the feeling that sitting down and doing the same with Checkmate would be a good idea too. This is one of my favourite books, but there's so much going on that digesting it in short monthly bursts can be difficult. I want to support the book though, so I'll keep buying the floppies instead of the trades.

Amazing Spider-Man #551
After two ssues of the Guggenheim/Larocca triptic, it's clear that they aren't as good a match for this title as Slott and McNiven. I'm still enjoying the book though. It's a better read than Ultimate Spider-Man at the moment and I may drop the latter as a result, after all who needs two regular Spider titles in their life?

The Order #8

I'm a few issues behind on this, but I know it's good. Sadly it's also been cancelled. Baw bags.

Ultimate Human #2 (of 4)

OK so this is only there to be released in trade paperback format in time for the new Hulk and Iron Man movies, but unlike other blatant movie cash-ins (I'm looking at you Spider-Man v Doc Oc and Silver Surfer Requiem) this is actually good. Warren Ellis and Cary Nord are a shit hot team who, if issue #1 is anyhting to go by, are going to serve us up some good wholesome gamma on iron action.

Jenna Jamesons Shadow Hunter #1

Porno sword and sorcery shenanigans. KERCHING! No lame jokes about the fact that it's being published by Virgin, I promise.

Short bits about comics I've been reading

Time's at a premium for me at the moment. I'm reading comics inbetween other more important real life stuff and updating the blog as and when I can grab five minutes. Fact is I'm too knackered to put any real thought into anything but changing nappies and dealing with family stuff. BUT I am still ploughing through the comic backlog, so here are some SHORT strem of conciousness styleeee reviews of what I've been reading...

Green Lantern/Green Lantern Corps

Nearly hit the Sinestro War now. Seems the whole Empire of Tears, Alan Moore thing was cropping up even earlier in the run than I'd thought. Ranx and The Children of The White Lobe both appear in the Corps. Wish I'd been reading them at the time.

And the other day when I said it would be really cool to see Batman as a Sinestro Corps. Well fuck the ducks, for one glorious splashpage it actually happens. NERDGASM!

Green Lantern is a great run. I did raise an eyebrow when Hal Jordan started quoting John McCain and creating pissed off US soldiers instead of big green mallets to take down Chechen terrorists, but hey I guess that's the kind of shit Hal would do. On the other hand maybe Geoff Johns is a raging republican hawk. Oh well, I still like his comics.

Fantastic Four #554

Superheroes as celebrities. Savvy cynicism. Pop culture references. Bryan Hitch on pencils. Basically Mark Millar is still writing The Ultimates. That's alright by me.

I liked the Back to the Future III beginning, The cheeky Miracle Man T-shirt (Copyright! Copyright!), the obscure Chris Claremont character dredged up to be Reed's ex, Sue Storm's Spice Girl style charity gig and the Doombots serving cocktails.

We've read it all before of course, but Millar and Hitch do it so well that it's still worth picking up.

Northlanders #3

I like the pencils and colours on this a lot. It's got a stark look to it. Brutal. Cold. Grim. The kind of art that fits the grimy paper Vertigo use to a tee.

The Orkney Islands in the 10th Century look like a shitter of a place.

The story is good too. Sven is like a skinny whiny Conan.

The coolest/only viking comic I've ever read (Thor doesn't count)

Amazing Spider-Man #549/#550

I'm not mad aout Salvador Larocca's art. It's not horrible, it just doesn't seem like the best fit for Spidey. His Jonah Jameson is all wrong.

Guggenheim's words are good, not Dan Slott good, but good all the same.

I'll keep reading, but I'd still rather be reading Slott/McNiven Spidey once a month.

Teen Titans Year One #1/#2

I like the idea behind this one, and it's entertaining enough comic tomfoolery but really, I could use a few more words. Seriously, it pisses me off to spend £2 on a comic that takes 1 minute to read.

I get that the writers are aiming at a younger audience, but when I were a lad I was drooling over Daredevil and Watchmen. Lot of words in those buggers I tell you. Lot of words.

The covers are ace though.

Tales from the nerd sack

I can't tell you if the latest issue of Marvel Zombies is worth reading because I haven't had the chance to look at it yet, but I do know that Arthur Suydam's zombie Nick Fury looks like Michael Heseltine...

Heseltine

Zombie Fury

Well I thought so anyway.

Elsewhere this week, I enjoyed Amazing Spider-Man # 548. Like I said before, there's nothing ground-breaking here, just good, clean throwaway fun. The kind of stuff I used to buy in my newsagent when I was too young to know that comic shops existed.

I still find it amusing that people are pissing their knickers over the reboot. I mean, I have some sympathy for the ones who are unhappy about the fact that things have changed, but the folk who are screaming that Spidey should just have got a divorce rather than done a deal with Mephisto because that would have been more believable need a good slap.

Wise up fanboys, this is Spider-Man for fuck's sake! It's a comic about a man who got bitten by a radioactive insect, climbs walls and fights villains who dress up as rhinos and goblins. If you want believability and realism you're in the wrong place.

Personally I like my comics silly. Occasionally they are so stupid that they rise above the disposable to become things of absurd beauty. Case in point: Wonder Woman. What a fucking great funny book this is. A book where a scantily clad Amazon leads a troop of apes into battle against a bunch of 21st century Nazis. Truly this is great literature. In the words of Wonder-Woman...

Not 'arf princess! Pass me the tissues.

Other genuinely excellent comics this week include Dan Dare #3 where Garth Ennis gives us his homage to Zulu. Also included is a sneak preview of Glenn Fabry's Gilbert & George inspired cover to issue 4...


Dan Dare also gets bonus points for continuing to carry ads for for REAL space travel on the back.

Also worth a look: Comics Now #1. I could've done without the five pages of recaps on Marvel and DC's current titles, but there are some interesting articles here, not least the exhaustive (and arguably exhausting) 20 page scholarly spectacular on DC's various Crisis events.

As a magazine that seems to be setting itself up as a conscious competitor to the appalling Wizard though, I have to say I was disappointed to see an editorial which disavows "negative reviews" and tells us that "Inside the pages of this magazine you will find positive stories that reinforce your love of comics".

They are correct to tell us that: "If you want negative reviews...you can find that in a myriad of places online", but by being too happy smiley about comics they run the risk of turning into another Wizard.

I don't want a magazine which would have me believe every comic on the stands is AMAZING and that there is no such thing as a waste of money at the comic book shop. I'm all for positive reviews and commentary where merited, but I also want to read bad reviews. After all there's a lot of crap out there.

Hopefully Comics Now will see fit to include some honest reviews further down the line, because it's a promising project. I'll certainly be back for issue #2.

Shorts

Much excitement at Gosh! comics over the forthcoming Alan Moore signing. I heard one chap asking staff how many books he would be allowed to bring to be autographed.

He was told: "Two maximum. One of those has to be Lost Girls. And NO Watchmen!"

I'm still considering taking a copy of Barely Legal along.

***************************************************************************************

I've been following the furore over the retconning of Spider-man with detached interest. I prefer my Spidey as a wise-cracking penniless singleton, so I'm not overly disappointed to see that Marvel have ditched his marriage to MJ and sent him back home to live with Aunt May.

I can't comment on the way in which this was achieved as I haven't read the One More Day story where everything was changed. Obviously everyone else out there (including a couple of very angry fat stinkers in Gosh!) thinks it was a bag of bollocks. Happen they're right.

You can't knock the first issue of the reboot though. I only picked it up out of curiosity, but Brand New Day was a top quality mainstream Marvel book. Yes I could have done with a few more pictures of Spidey swinging through Manhattan, but there was still enough excellent Steve McNiven art to keep me happy and Dan Slott writes a good knockabout, fast moving, smart talking Spidey.

Not so sure about this three times a month business, but my interest level has been raised enough to give the next issue a try.

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A comic book ad from 1977 for you...


...Kids these days don't know they're born!