Sunday stuff

A few bits and bobs before I head off for work...

I see Robert Kirkman is finishing up with Ultimate X-Men, that's good news for Kirkman and Ultimate X-men. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big Kirkman fan, but his run on Ultimate X-Men sucks. Perhaps it's the fact that he's chosen to make the book a homage to the 1990's or that there are whole issues in the run where nothing happens, I don't know. Just didn't get on with it at all.

If you ask me his talents are best served on the creator owned stuff he does for Image: Walking Dead, Invincible, Astounding Wolf-Man - now them's some good comics! The man is a master at creating his own universes, but seems to seize up a little when asked to operate in the Marvel U.

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Watched a few films over Christmas. Favourite was 28 Weeks Later. I know it wasn't well received when it came out, and I can understand why a lot of folks wouldn't like it, but I found it enjoyable. Perhaps the fact that I work in Canary Wharf where much of the film is set helped, after all who wouldn't enjoy seeing their office overrun by zombies and torched by the US military?

Sure, the whole Robert Begbie zombie stalking his kids thing is a bit daft, but there are some superb set-pieces, London looks great and those opening 10 minutes are as good as anything you'll see in a horror film. Not as good as 28 Days Later as a whole, but better in parts.

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Another fine issue of Special Forces hit the comic shops last week. What a great comic. Has to be my favourite cover of the year...


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One for your diary...


I can't be arsed with Lost Girls, but I will be taking along a copy of Barely Legal for the dirty old fuckers to sign.

Off the top of my head...

In no particular order, here are some comics I enjoyed reading in 2007...

1 All Star Superman
2 Captain America
3 Green Lantern
4 Checkmate
5 Black Summer
6 Crecy
7 The Ultimates Volume II
8 SuperFuckers
9 Special Forces
10 Scott Pilgrim
11 Ireedemable Ant-Man
12 Godland
13 Invincible
14 The Walking Dead
15 New Universal
16 Wolfskin
17 Black Gas

Here are a bunch that I didn't enjoy. Also in no order, apart from Number 1 which was hands down the biggest disappointment of the year...

1 The Ultimates Volume 3, Issue 1
2 Batman
3 Thor
4 Ultimate X-Men
5 Ultimate Fantastic Four
6 Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters
7 Tales from The Crypt (Papercuts reboot)
8 New Avengers
9 2000AD
10 The Brave and the Bold
11 Strange Cases
12 Ex Machina
13 Doctor Sleepless
14 Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer

And a bit of myyeeer for you. I couldn't decide on these. Liked all of them a lot in parts but for various reasons fell out with them all at some point...

1 World War Hulk
2 Civil War
3 Ultimate Spider-Man
4 Midnighter
5 Detective Comics

Meanwhile...

Sadly for me this is my busiest time of the year in the office hence the lack of updates. Bah humbug.

Next update will follow ASAP. Probably won't be until late Friday or perhaps even Saturday.

Sorry about that.

Santa doesn't exist

but Doomlord does...




Ho Ho Ho

London Loves Comics Recommends...

...The Sound of Drowning.

I have the fine folk at GOSH! comics in London to thank for The Sound of Drowning. They have this habit of slipping obscure indie titles on the shelves right in amongst the spandex mainstream. An admirable idea that tempts lazy superhero fans like me to broaden our horizons every now and again.

So it was that some time last year I happened upon a strange little British comic sitting next to Ultimate Spider-man. The Sound of Drowning couldn't be more different than those glossy American floppies, it's smaller, uses thicker paper and looks and smells like it's been put together on an old black and white photocopier in someone's shed.

It's an anarchic, dark and often tasteless little pamphlet full of nightmarish collages and oddly phrased stories, but it's also funny, arty and pretty poetic. The latest issue (number 10) is a homage to the Choose Your Own Adventure books of the 80's. I thought it was the best thing I've read in a long time: Fighting Fantasy as it would have been written by Samuel Beckett.

Perhaps that sounds like bollocks, but don't be put off! This is top quality stuff which wouldn't look out of place in a modern art gallery, but which also works damn well as a comic. I really, really, REALLY loved it and urge anyone who wants something different from their comics to give it a go.

You can get hold of it through the official website HERE or pick up a copy at GOSH! opposite the British museum in London.

If you do visit the website, make sure and have a look at all the strips which have been put online. Them's some great comics folks!

More Who's Who

Known Accomplices: Fat Oily Stinker

From the 50p bins of Orbital comics

I had no time for DC's Who's Who back in the day. It was a pale imitation of Marvel's triumphant Handbooks. Heavy on pictures and jazzy fonts, it felt less scholarly and cheaper than it's more esteemed counterpart. Still, I found a couple of old copies in Orbital's 50p boxes t'other day and felt duty bound to pick them up.

Look at this detail from the cover of the October '87 update...

Gahh! You'd never get anything like that on the front of a Marvel Handbook! It's like some great, garish DC strip club with Katma Tui and Lady Blackhawk going through the motions for Iron Munro and Kilowog while pervy John Constantine fiddles under his raincoat and that creepy impotent old Guardian looks on longingly.

Using the power of PAINT and my super computer art skills I've given the ladies a pole to gyrate on.

That's meant to be a bottle of beer in Iron Munro's hand by the way, and those are dollar bills Kilowog is throwing at Katma Tui.

Fear my painting power!

I might have a wank over it later.

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Search terms that have brought readers to London Loves Comics TODAY

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peri's tits

welcome one, welcome all!

shopping through the pain

"Beer then wine is fine" and, as LLC reader Coach McGuirk says, "Liquor before beer, never fear." BUT, beer at 11am followed by copious amounts of red wine, spirits and more beer until 10pm is just no good at all. It doesn't rhyme, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, it makes you puke up and shit fire for most of the following day.

Happy fucking Christmas.

Still, it's testament to my devotion to the power of comics that even with a radioactive hangover I managed to make my stinking way to the comic shop on Friday morning. Sadly I felt too ill to spend long in there and forgot to buy half the things I'd come for, a mistake which meant I had to go back today to fill my nerd sack with more sequential goodies. Bah!

Wonder Woman cheered me up plenty. Basically it's Amazons v Nazis - can't go wrong there folks.

The cover alone is worth the admission price...

Honestly, I'd quite like to buy it.

Elsewhere there's a bumper sized conclusion to the Sinestro Corps War in Green Lantern #25. It's a comic which veers between brilliance and schmaltz and I can't quite make up my mind what I thought of it. There's still plenty to enjoy, particularly in the huge fight scene splash pages. But the whole "go get 'em uncle Hal" sequence in the middle is frankly vomit inducing.

As for the end? Well it's nice of DC to tip us off to their answer to Marvel Zombies a year in advance. I smell variant covers.

Astounding Wolf-man was good again. Building up steam nicely this one. I reckon it'll be massive by issue #10. Wait and see.

I flicked through the bumper sized 2000AD Xmas special. It looked terrible. Sigh. Apparently Rebellion have done some deal to make it available online from the next prog. I reckon they need to sort the printed version out first. Such a shame to see the Galaxy's Greatest continuing to disappoint

Christmas dos, shopping lists and Dan Dare

This blog is headed for quiet mode over the next day or two. I have a works Christmas do to go to tomorrow which will no doubt end in paralytic collapse at a London casino. That's the way these things have tended to pan out for me in the past.

It's possible that I might wipe enough sick from eyes to post some random Youtube effort tomorrow, but that really depends on whether I remember that "beer then wine is fine" and don't forget that "wine then beer is queer". We shall see.

Of course, the sad thing about all day piss ups on Thursday is that I miss new comic day. ARGGGGGGGGGH! Seriously this really upsets me, it's a heavy week. Here's my shopping list...

Green Lantern
Green Lantern Corps
Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Ion
Suicide Squad
Un-Men
Wonder Woman
The Boys
Astounding Wolf-Man
Crawlspace xxx zombies

Not a single Marvel title there by the way. Can't remember that happening before. No matter, plenty to look forward to. The Sinestro War stuff is nice, but Wonder Woman and xxx zombies are the real treats here. Plus there's some new Kirkman - the reaction to Wolf-Man seems to have been pretty muted, but I like it a lot.

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I keep meaning to write something about the first issue of Dan Dare. It's a comic I enjoyed a good deal and yet I just don't seem to have found the moment to get all Lit Crit on it. So briefly here are a few things I liked about it...

The crew of an intergalalactic battle crusiser drinking mugs of tea on the flight deck.

Strangely unhinged Dan Dare retreating into his fantasy England.

Treen spaceships

The Blairesque PM

I thought the artwork was patchy, but perfect in parts (reminded me of Talbot on Luther Arkwright).

Obviously the real test will come next issue when the Mekon turns up.

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Right I'm off to take lots of water on board in preparation for tomorrow's dehydrating alcohol fest. HO HO HO.

Whatever happened to the Mini Pops?

If you've got 40 minutes to spare, here's a nice little documentary on the Mini Pops.

Legendary 2000AD characters #1: Old One Eye

Old One Eye.
Sounds like a pet name a sad man might give his cock.
And yet it's not.

Old One Eye is in fact a crazed T-Rex from 2000AD's much loved classic, FLESH!

The basic premise of Flesh was brilliant: Future cowboys travel back to the prehistoric age to farm dinosaurs for meat! KERCHING! That's hit the mindset of the 1970's pre-teen bang on.

Old One Eye lost her eye in a tear up with a future cowboy and spent the entirety of her time looking for revenge. The reader was often reminded that Old One Eye had the same sized brain as a "small kitten", but then had their mind blown by the fact that she was also cunning, violent and, (marvelously for a dinosaur), completely insane!

Here she is...

COMPLETELY MAD T-REX = NERDGASM!

Tireddddddddddd

Not much time so just a few thoughts before I hit the sack

1. So, has New Universal been cancelled? Still no sign of a new issue and it's been months since the last one.

2. What are the odds that THIS will be the worst comic of all time?

3. Why do we bother with single issues at all anymore? More and more mini series are popping up which clearly read better in the collected format and are written with this in mind. It's cheaper to buy the collected editions than the floppies. The only floppies which seem worth getting are the ones that include additional material that isn't available in the trades - I'm thinking of Criminal in particular here. I'm getting a bit narked at paying £2 for comics that only take 5 minutes to read (Helllloooo Ultimates volume 3).

The coolest comic book ad EVER!

No, not this

THIS...

click it to read it properly

You have to hand it to Virgin, selling $200,000 space flights on the back of a Dan Dare comic is fucking cool.

Book yours here

The Ultimates Vol 3 Issue #1

For all the delays that blighted it, there's little doubt that Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's The Ultimates was sharp, good looking and enjoyable. The characters were well written and believable, the action was always spectacular but never muddled and the political edge to the book made it feel relevant in a way that Marvel comics should but rarely ever do.

It's clear that the book has become one of the jewels in Marvel's crown, so it's a shame that the powers that be have seen fit to hand it to a team who look like taking it off in a new and frankly unwelcome direction.

Jeph Loeb made no bones about the fact that he was going to ditch the politics and turn the Ultimates into an action comic. That made me wary straight away, but while I don't think the tone needed to be changed I have nothing against straight up action per se, so I was willing to give the book a chance. I wish I hadn't bothered.

Loeb and Joe Madureira's first issue is a confused blur of a comic. The keenly observed dialogue of the first two volumes has been replaced by hackneyed old trash talk and a slew of in your face sound effects. There's little in the way of a plot, and the characters so carefully fleshed out by Millar have been rendered two dimensional by Loeb.

The art is horrible. The pages look like a strange hybrid of graffiti art and manga overlayed with neon pastels. Where Hitch's drawing was clean and well proportioned, Madureira gives us a set of anatomically muddled michelin men. Captain America is a blob, Wasp who was (as far I can recall) asian in the Millar Hitch run now seems to be, well...W.A.S.P.! and Hawkeye, who was stripped down to his basics and done as a dead eyed hitman has now acquired a distinctly 90's looking leather number complete with unnecessary pockets and rubber mask. Taken as a whole it's a distracting, ill proportioned mess that makes the story even more of a chore to follow.

In all I spent approximately five minutes on the comic. That's all it's worth. There's nothing that makes me want to go back and look at it again, and it's highly unlikely that I'll be back for issue #2.

The Ultimates RIP.

Christmas shopping

Man I hate the West End at this time of year. You need something like this to get through the crowds...

The Marvellous Marvel Atlas

Let's talk geography true believers. Not physical geography, not human geography, not political geography, not even environmental geography. No, when it comes to comics, there's only one branch of geography worth discussing: Marvel geography.

Yes, Marvel geography, the mightiest form of geography known to man. A geography that takes in every nation on the face of the planet and a fair few that don't really exist. A geography that effortlessly combines the real and the imaginary in the merry way that only Marvel can. A geography that has it's own cartography, currencies and systems of government and now, thank goodness, a geography that has it's own Atlas...

The Marvel Atlas, a two part guide to every nation ever featured in the Marvel Universe, complete with maps, flags, languages, population figures, places of interest and, most importantly, extraterrestrial, superhuman and nonhuman inhabitants.

It's meticulously researched, well written and at times downright surreal. The descriptions of imaginary nations like Madripoor and Morvania are brilliant, but it's the crazy collage of fact and fiction that have gone into the entries on real nations that makes the Marvel Atlas such a thing of wonder.

Take for example this little sample from the entry on Belgium...


All interesting stuff.



chocolate and beer you say? Fascinating.



Wait a minute. Were-borgs!?! Commander Courage!?! human corpses?!? Oh baby! Now that's what I call edutainment! And it doesn't stop at Belgium either. There are literally a dozen examples of pure genius on every page. Whether it be this typical shot of everyday Hungarian life...

"Hungary?"
"Not really, but I could eat some more goulash"

Or this quite lovely satellite image of Latveria's capital, Doomstadt.

Click to ramp up the Doom

The Marvel Atlas is a delight from start to finish. It's a tome that dares to give us a dry as you like factual account of the Nazis rise to power in Germany...


And then, just when you think you're in the real world, hits you with this...

I'm willing to bet that there's some impressionable kid out there who now thinks that Hitler really was killed by a superhero. Ha Ha, I hope Jim Hammond finds his way onto an exam paper.

It's this level of detailed craziness told with straight face that puts the Marvel Atlas above any of it's recent forerunners. It's a much more scholarly and infinitely stranger reference work than any of the recent Handbook revamps and frankly I'd go as far as to put it ahead of the classic 1980's Handbooks which still hold pride of place in my long boxes.

Issue two which will cover North, South and Central America as well as the likes of Atlantis and The Savage Land won't be out until March. No doubt there will be a nice little collected copy to pick up soon after that.

Whichever version you go for, this is a truly essential comic for fans of the Marvel Universe, lovers of alternate histories and anyone who likes kooky comics. I give it a straight up not to be missed: A.

Showaddywaddy on Jim'll Fix It

Sorry no comics content again. I'm too preoccupied with watching Jim'll Fix It on Youtube. Seriously I've waded through rivers of the milky eyed old paedo's antics over the last two days. There's so much excellence involved that it's hard to know where to begin. The Sham 69 clip is obviously seminal stuff, but I think this is my favourite. I like it so much I've written some commentary. Follow along if you like...



5:26 "How did you know I was handsome?" Mwah ha ha ha. As if pretending to read braille isn't insulting enough Jimmy Saville really turns the knife by making a gag about the girls' blindness. What a fucking rotter!

4:53 "And you can see the surprise on their faces" Hee-hee one last dig before the clip begins eh Jim?

4:49 The wavy lines disappear revealing Showaddywaddy's den. The boys clearly don't feel comfortable with these blind girls. "We've gotta keep facing this way!" "Take 'em over there!". It's gold I tell you, very, very awkward gold, but gold nonetheless.

3:56 So we know the Showaddys are nervous. They've told us as much. They're clearly going to have to sing their big hit with the girls, but for their own peace of mind they want to keep them from bumping into things. The best course of action would be to stand still on the staircase.

3:29 Tall pink Showaddy gives a blind girl the thumbs up! Doh!

3:18 Blind girl pretending to look at the moon of love. "Your eyes shine so brightly under the moon of love". The Showaddy next to her looks incredibly uncomfortable.

3:07 Has the Showaddy in blue spotted some dandruff on the blind girl's shoulder? Or is he just fanning her with that record because she stinks? We will never know.

02:57 I love the expression on sunglass Showaddy's face. He's had enough. "Ffff..." he sighs as he glumly leads the blind girl out.

02:45 Blue Showaddy is forcibly dragging the blind girl along now! Let's go for a little walk indeed. This is quite rough behaviour.

They look like they're taking them to be executed. Thankfully things brighten up IN THE PLAYGROUND!!

02:20 WTF is this about?

02:02 Odd shot of the girls giggling at a Showaddy's crotch. Showaddy laughs at them.

01:58 Frankly I think these girls are to old to be getting piggybacks from Showaddywaddy.

01:49 An inappropriate dance between some ageing rockers and a bunch of blind kids amongst the Showaddy's cannabis plants.

01:33 Cruel pot plant based pisstaking by this Showaddy.

0:53 Note the cub scout. He loves Saville so much that he's copied his hairdo.

0:28 "Look at these albums" Saville seizes on another opportunity to remind the girls that they can't see.

Sham 69 on Jim'll Fix It

I have things to say about Dan Dare and the ever so awesome Marvel Atlas, but they'll have to wait as I'm up to my eyes in work tonight.

In the meantime I have to share this gem with you. Was searching Youtube for some background music and came across this piece of musical brillaince. If the Kids are United by Sham 69 has always been a bit of a favourite of mine, but it's just gone soaring even higher in my estimation after seeing this rendition on Jim'll Fix It!

Kids. Grannies. All clapping along to punk. Fanfuckingtastic!
Get me a goddamned time machine NOW!