Friday, 17 October 2008


Yesterday I schlepped around town with my slightly sick son in tow. Dodging the vast crowds of tourists who had come out to see Britain's Olympic team, we made our way to Gosh! where I picked up a goodly stack of new comics. On the way home my son puked all over himself and his buggy causing much alarm on the bus. Obviously I'd forgotten to take a change of outfit out with me. We both stank for the rest of the journey home. The joys.

In the evening I persuaded the missus that it would be a good idea to watch The Incredible Hulk on DVD because it had received some decent reviews. She said she'd heard it was shite. As per usual she was correct. Anyone who gave this film anything more than two stars wants their forehead slapping because...
  • The CGI is wank! Alright, it looks OK in a couple of places, but there are way too many times when the CGI characters look like they've been overlayed on the live action. Neither the Hulk or the Abomination move realistically, they act like Harryhausen models. I'm not knocking Ray Harryhausen saying that, I'm quite sure he'd have put together something a lot more impressive given the technology and the budget.
  • The script is so shite that I came to the conclusion that the only reason Liv Tyler whispered every single one of her lines was that she was too embarrassed to say them out loud.
  • I'm all for dropping in the occasional nod to the classic Hulk TV show, but the director clobbers you over the head with references to it. Poor Ed Norton has to deliver some cringeworthy lines as a result: "You won't like me when I'm hungry...wait that's not right"
  • University science labs DON'T look like that. Seriously, show me one university lab that has a chair complete with wrist and leg restraints surrounded by banks of beeping and whirring computers and twisty twirly test tube thingies! Garggggh!
There are many more things to moan about, suffice to say I really didn't like The Incredible Hulk. Ang Lee's version was probably better and that really is saying something.

After the Hulk I started to watch the Neil Marshall turkey, Doomsday which was also terrible. Unlike The Hulk though it seems to be good awful rather than God awful. Sadly I fell asleep well before the end, but not before I had the chance to laugh at Bob Hoskins attempting to deliver a couple of hilariously bad speeches with a straight face. I'll plough through the second half of the film when I get home tonight.


Mr A. P. Salmond, esq. said...

Yeah, gotta say I'm a sucker for Doomsday, probably for my enduring love affair with the crap 80's post-apocalyptica it references. It has a nice kitchen sink feel.

Neil Marshall was in the store recently. I asked if he was, indeed, Neil Marshall, and he said yes like I'd just run over his dog. I left him alone.

Incredible Hulk was a bit purple pants. I liked the favela stuff, but I think mainly because the setting is so damn picturesque. Mmm...crushing poverty...

Dom Sutton said...

Ha Ha! Sorry Neil Marshall didn't fancy a chat. He's probably heard about your legendary foisting powers and didn't want to leave with more than he'd come in for (impressive work with the Absolute Sandman foist the other day by the way! That fella didn't know what hit him)

Doomsday was alright in the end, not as good as Dog Soldiers or The Descent, but earned bonus points for the best use of a Frankie Goes to Hollywood song in a movie EVER.I could've done with around 30 fewer decapitations though.

Crushing poverty? Hulk crush poverty! I'd wear that wristband.

mr wheatley said...

Yeah iam a big doomsday fan as well. I watched as a double bill with the new rambo which was also brilliant.
Myanna Burning is in it, she plays the dinosaurs girlfriend in Wrong Door. She is tops though in some very bad hair. Just seen Speed Racer.. it was incredible haha. best use of a frankie goes to hollywood track has got to be Body Double.. they are actually in that as well. a mindblowing cameo by Holly!

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting on Speed racer from the dvd rental place. Looking forward to it.

Watching Doomsday made me think more of classic 2000AD than anything else.


mr wheatley said...

i can see why people got the arse with it.. but it just made me smile. and thats all there is really. It felt like a film made just for me!