Alan Moore's nightmare/My wet dream

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WATCHMEN HEROCLIX!

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The inevitable Watchmen review

You've already waded through a hundred reviews of Watchmen haven't you? The majority of them are far more informed and well written than anything I could bang out, and to be honest I'm too tired to put anything coherent together anyway, so here, (as they pop from the ether into my addled brain), are some bullet points...

• The fellah who plays Rorschach is top class. He even does a dynamite Hurrm! In fact, when he first hurrmed, I spat my popcorn with delight. Good Hurmming Sir!
• I'd well bone the Golden Age Silk Spectre, but then I'm a predictable man with a thing for women in suspenders, so you know that's hardly surprising. She's hotter than her daughter though (who, to be fair, is also highly boneable). Basically I'd like to bone them both, preferably while dressed as a superhero. 
  
• Dan Dreiburg was a lot better than I thought he was going to be. Yeah he was fatter in the comic book, but the fellah in the film still looks dumpy when he's not in his costume.
• That said, he wasn't as good as the bloke who played The Comedian, because honestly, he was just FANTASTIC, especially when he was getting beaten up.
• The Richard Nixon mask was terrible.
• Why the fuck didn't Nite Owl and Rorshach have their little hover-bikes in Antarctica? Bah, what's wrong with hover-bikes Snyder?!
• Veidt? Hurrm. All a bit Brideshead/Rupert Everett for my liking. I'm not blaming the actor, because he gives the part his best shot, but I think that he wasn't terribly well cast. Ozymandias should be buffer and blonder. He's a clean cut beefcake with a brain, not a weedy fop - FACT!
• The violence was over the top. I suppose it did serve to drum home how brutal the characters are, but you know, the original Rorschach doesn't hack up the child killer with a meat cleaver, he ties him up and sets fire to his building. There are also no protruding bones that I can remember in the comic, and no-one gets their arms cut off at the elbows. Sigh.
• I liked the soundtrack.
• Dr Manhattan was a lot better than I expected him to be. I know it was all green-screened (or whatever you call it) but the actor still did a fine job on him. All detached, but sensitive and sad like. Nice.
• The ending was slightly less daft than the original, but fuck that: I wanted me some giant calamari! Not to mention an island full of demented scientists and comic book artists. Gahh! SQUID, SQUID, SQUID!
• I'm looking forward to Snyder's final cut, because there was a lot of good stuff missing. Leaving out the death of Hollis Mason was a gaffe of near Bombadilic proportions in my opinion. I also need to see more newsstand, and of course Black Freighter. I don't buy many DVDs, but this one's definitely on the list.
• No Krystalnacht (unless I missed it). Probably a wise decision.
• I did feel slightly guilty watching the film, after all Mr Moore didn't want it made, and when all's said and done, ignoring that is out of order. Having said that, I think Snyder's proved Moore wrong, because the comic clearly is filmable. It's not the same and it's not as good as the comic, but the movie is nonetheless, unmistakeably Watchmen.
• I might write some more tomorrow, but it's 1am and I'm too fucked for any more of this gubbins.

Spring/Watchmen gubbins

Ah, 'tis a beautiful spring morning in Auld Lahndan Tahn! The missus has thrown the blinds open and is playing some sweet classical music on Spotify, the birds are chirping in the garden and my Sea-Monkeys are frolicking happily in the sunlight. Magic! If I can stop coughing and be bothered to get dressed, I might even take in the air with a constitutional stroll to the comic shop. Let's hope all my books are present and correct this week, I'm not sure I have the energy to cover any shortfall with a hasty visit to the West End.

I mentioned to my missus that I was going to have to see Watchmen at some point and indeed I did not lie, oh no. I imagine that I'll probably hate it, but that's not the point is it? Has to be done. The missus asked if I thought she'd like it. Obviously I said no. I mean, she's shown no interest in reading the comic so why would she want to go and see the film? She says she's heard it's all serious, not a bit like any of those other silly superhero flicks. Bah! It's still about people running around in spandex, love! Alright, so there's a bit of raping involved, but she'll still laugh when the little men get in their Owl Ship and the giant squid lands on Manhattan. Anyway, I think I need to take this film in alone, preferably in the middle of the day in an empty cinema where I won't disturb anyone with the sound of my tutting. We'll see.

The web is of course aflame with talk of the movie. Plenty of reviews to be had, but I can't be bothered reading too many of those to be honest. Of more interest are these two nuggets: Mike Leader attends a fuck up of a promo on the Thames, and Seb Patrick takes time out from losing at Championship Manager Online to ruminate on several abandoned Watchmen screenplays. I'm building up for the whole thing by rereading Moore's Top 10, which is altogether much more fun than Watchmen. Pip-Pip!

ADD: via a comment on Progressive Ruin, it's: "What If Watchmen was a Saturday Morning cartoon?!"

Three comic related things that I think about over and over and over again

The title theme to Luke Cage

Across 110th Street would make a great title track for a Luke Cage Power Man movie. Alright, so it's already been used as the soundtrack for two movies (Across 110th Street and Jackie Brown), but in particularly drunken moments when I start obsessing about how amazing a Luke Cage flick would be, Across 110th Street always seems like the ONLY sensible choice to open up with. Of course I'm assuming that the movie would be a period piece, it'd have to be, right? Cage don't work outside of the 70s man!

52

52 should be released as a big stonking Omnibus. I'll be honest, I didn't read it as it was coming out because I was determined not to give DC any money for what I imagined was going to be a terrible mess of an event book. 

As it went on though, I began to feel like I was missing out on something special. The way people talked about it made it seem like an event that was up there with the original Crisis. Still, I held off joining in late largely becasue I imagined that since it was so obviously a classic that it would get a big old collected edition of a release when it was finished. Well, we got a couple of poxy paperback trades, but come on! 52 deserves an oversized extras laden fat brick of a hardback. I can't believe we haven't had one. I fear DC aren't going to bother now either.

Watchmen

People on forums and podcasts who say that Watchmen isn't that good need a fucking kicking!  

Alright, it might not seem that amazing to you now, but when it came out it was like nothing else that had ever been done. Honestly, at the time all of my X-men, Teen Titans and Fan Four comics seemed suddenly pointless compared to this well written story loaded up with three dimensional characters.

I think people who don't read comics but see the movie are going to have their minds blown by it. They haven't got anaesthetised by the stream of gritty comics that followed in Watchmen's wake and  still see super-heroes as biff, bang, pow two dimensional cut outs. 

As a jaded comic book fan I envy them the eye opening coming their way. They're probably going to appreciate Watchmen a lot more than some of the poor sods who didn't get to feel the buzz when it came out.

Sea-Monkeys/Another sale/Watchmen

Tilt your head to one side and enjoy a Christmas miracle...

Yes chums, my Sea-Monkeys have risen from the the dead. Not quite sure how or why, but they're there. Good thing I left their tank on my shelf rather than consigning their seemingly dead bodies to the toilet. 

I'm slightly worried by the fact that the water level in their little tank is dropping.  I don't have any purifier left and reckon they'd die again if I poured in tap water - maybe Evian would work, Hmmm. Anyway, good to see them merrily doing their thing.  A couple are actually pretty huge, one even looks like it's got a pair of bollocks although my missus thinks this is unlikely.

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News from Orbital comics: They're moving above ground and to bigger premises. To celebrate this momentous occasion they've announced a sale! Yay! Details HERE 50% off ALL back issues - yum!

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Only a few months til Watchmen now. Japanese trailer with new stuff in it...

I don't remember Fidel Castro being in the comic.

Redhead Fan Girl has some pics of the cut-outs which are popping up in American cinemas, see them HERE

LLC Recommends Watching The Watchmen

My copy of Watching the Watchmen arrived today, it's a beautiful beast of a book that weighs as much as a concrete paving slab and is packed with Dave Gibbons goodness. If you love Watchmen (and given that you're a comic fan, I'm assuming you do) then this is essential, and can be picked up on Amazon for 50% of the RRP

I've ploughed through it already, and can't recommend it highly enough. It's a fantastic insight into the process of comic creation that sheds new light on a work about which I thought there was nothing left to say.

Gibbons laces the book with some interesting anecdotes, but with its glossy paper and oversized reproductions of previously unseen art, the book is primarily eye candy. There are a host of breakdowns and layouts for the individual issues and some brilliant and long overdue insights into the colouring, but the most interesting part of the book for me was the section on Gibbons' early concept art.

For example, prior to picking up this book I had no idea that the original designs for Rorshach included a full body suit. From the sketches for this initial design, it seems the idea was to have Rorshach periodically whip open his grubby mac to reveal his costume...


It's a terrible idea that makes the character look like a flasher and was mercifully dumped. But, how great is it as a fan to be able to see stuff like this?

What with these early ideas, the sketches for rejected covers, original designs for the Owl ship, colour guides and original page layouts, there are a wealth of goodies on show here.

Like Watchmen itself, Watching the Watchmen is a book that I'll be returning to again and again over the years. In my opinion it's a must have for everyone's bookshelf.

Briefly

Thanks to Portuguese LLC reader Diogo Campos who responded to this recent post with a picture of another huge superhero tile mural in Lisbon...


It's not the clearest pic in the world, but if you click it you can make out a good smattering of DC and Marvel favourites. Interestingly (to me anyway) the artist seems to have used the Marvel Handbook: Book of the Dead and The DC Who's Who guide for reference. There's also some Amazing Spider-Man in there and, in amongst all the spandex, a stormtrooper. Top stuff. Many thanks to Diogo who is doing his best to track down a better photo for me.

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There's a brand new video up on the official Watchmen site. Check it out HERE

If that's not enough Watchmen for you, you can listen to Dave Gibbons talking about the movie and the motion comic on Word Balloon. Host John Siuntres also has recent interviews with the likes of Jeff Parker, Jeph Loeb and Jonathan Hickman available for download.

Watchmen memorabilia

Going through a cupboard full of my old junk, I found this...

I've no recollection of buying it, but I presume it was purchased at the time of Watchmen's original release. I wonder if I ever intended to sew it onto an item of clothing. Probably. However, by the time Watchmen came out I'd already experienced the dangerous derision that nerdy clothing can provoke, and this almost certainly led me to consign the patch to the box of old tat where it has resided to this day.

That FF incident was the first of two fashion based attacks which I can remember. The second came after I decided to write THE SMITHS in biro on the back of an old parka jacket. This provoked several Morrissey hating toughs into punching me in the back of the head while chanting "gay songs, gay songs" at the top of their voices.

Happy days.

Retail Therapy

I feel lucky to be alive this new comics day. You see, despite the advice of my better half I decided that it would be a good idea to tell the huge family of scumbags over the road that 12.30am was not the best time for them to be having a loud drunken argument in the street. It's not the first occasion I've asked them to shut the fuck up, but it is the first time that they've reacted by throwing full cans of beer at my head and then charging me.

The site of several raging Irishmen thudding across the street should have sent me scampering for safety, but for some bizarre reason my brain clicked into caveman mode telling my legs that the best policy would be to stand my ground and try and defuse the situation. Thankfully two of the younglings, (who had clearly been expecting me to run back indoors), decided that it would be a better idea to restrain their crazed father than to murder me. All very nice of them, but although they did manage to prevent him from attacking me, I was left badly shaken. It's not nice having people threaten to kill you, especially when they're doing it on your doorstep. Really I should have called the police, but I suspect that would create even more trouble. Gahhhhh! What a nightmare!

So anyway what with the adrenalin and the fear pumping around my clogging arteries, I didn't sleep much. Hardly a surprise that morning found me miserable and tired then. Time for the healing power of comics. And so (after checking the street for knife wielding neighbours) to Gosh! where I picked up the bulk of my weekly stash and had a nice chat about Chuck Dixon and Fred Van Lente's new comics with the chaps behind the counter. Then, pausing briefly to admire the silky marketing skills of the folk at Comicana...

"Soon to be a movie. Now in stock"
Post-It note on graphic novel
Nice one lads

...I made my way to Forbidden Planet where I picked up a rather fine Doctor Who Man Toy...

Magnus Greel and MR. Sin action figures. Wow!

Now you know that I know that it's wrong to buy Man Toys. But The Talons of Weng Chiang is my favourite Doctor Who story EVER and the urge to have these two cosying up to my Devil Dinosaur Heroclix was just too powerful to resist.

Awwwwh yeah!

The Peking Homunculus and The Butcher of Brisbane, baby!
That's what I'm talking about!

Ahem. Anyway, while shamefacedly shovelling my new toys into the old nerd sack I was heartened to hear that someone in the background at FP had switched off the ear-bleeding death metal and put this on the loudspeakers...

Magic! If they always played this sort of thing instead of the inverted cross and goats blood based bollocks that they usually assail the punters with, I might shop there more often. Honestly, it was a really nice change. Obviously I'd rather have no music at all, but at least Chas and Dave don't hurt!

GERTCHA!

Watchmen news

Well now, THIS is interesting.

Also exclusive news from Mr Wheatley who is in Prague at the mo and tells me the Watchmen soundtrack is in the process of being recorded by the Prague Philharmonic.

If you haven't already, check out the video journals covering Watchmen set and costume design on the official Watchmen site.

Go make a commercial for Nostalgia HERE.

Watch what you're up against...

WOW!

The Watchmen site has been updated with some spectacular shots.

I'm feeling much better about everything after seeing those.

Watchmen again

I've been thinking a lot about the Watchmen again. Basically I've decided that I can forgive Snyder and co anything, but only if this is included on the soundtrack...



Here's the wikipedia page for the film by the way.

Worrying Watchmen news

This really worries me. I thought it was bollocks at first, but no, there's another review of the script here.

WTF?!? they've set it in the present day AND filled it with Islamic terrorists?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What makes a Watchmen cover?

" If you're a fan, it's like a lost cover. That's what it feels like, and that's what we were going for."

So says Zack Snyder of the Dave Gibbons poster currently doing the rounds.

Hurrm.

Don't get me wrong, I'm as buzzed as the next fan to see Gibbons drawing new Watchmen stuff, but this image is nothing like a Watchmen cover.

This...
...is like a Watchmen cover. The Gibbons poster is more like the opening panel of a missing issue. That's still exciting, but I worry slightly that the director of the Watchmen film doesn't know what makes a Watchmen cover a Watchmen cover.

I'm sure everything will be just fine in the end.

Shorts

Busy, busy, busy!

Yes True Believers, the stress of having a premature baby in a special care unit is taking it's toll at the moment.

So GARGGGH!

Anyway, a few bits and bobs for you

Firstly a link to an interview with Zack Snyder in which he talks about Watchmen some more. Nice to see Dave Gibbons getting involved and I'm looking forward to the Nixon prosthetic. Interview HERE
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I made a flying visit to Forbidden Planet on Friday to pick up some comics.

As is my way when hitting FP, I flitted ever so briefly into the role playing section where I was stopped in my tracks by possibly the lamest looking D&D expansion EVER!


Perleasssse! How may adolescent boys (I assume they still make up the vast majority of D&D's player base) are going to want to role play Shakespeare plays? Uggh.

If "The taming of the shrew" was in fact called "The taming of the orc" I could see a case for this nonsense. As it is though its a ridiculous idea.

I guarantee this monstrosity will sit and gather dust on FP's shelves for years.

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As you can imagine, I'm somewhat behind on my comics reading at the moment. I did manage to peel issue #2 of Matt Fraction's excellent new comic The Order of my teetering "to read stack"though. Fun stuff. Most notable for being the first and probably last Marvel comic to include a Julie Burchill quote. Now there's someone you never thought you'd see in spandex.

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Speaking of the tight shiny stuff, I'm heartened to see that "Sodam Yat" has overtaken "Guys in spandex" as the number #1 search term by which people find their way to L L C.

The arrival of Green Lantern Corps #15 (or The Sinestro Corps War #5 as it will come to be known) has led to an upsurge of people hitting this site in their quest for more knowledge on the man who would be Ultimate Green Lantern.

Sadly I've given you all the info I have on your favourite Daxamite at the moment, but I do recommend this website to anyone who fancies trawling for more.

Watchmen website

And...KERPOOF! Just like that an official website for Zach Snyder's Watchmen movie appeared.

Not much on there at the mo, but there is a cast list. Do any of these float your freighter?

Malin Ackerman as Laurie Juspeczyk

Billy Crudup as Doctor Manhattan
(Must've been close between him and these three)

Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach (Hrmm)

Matthew Goode as Ozymandias

Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian (I'm kind of seeing this one, although deep down I was hoping for Burt Reynolds or Lee Majors)

Patrick Wilson (left) as Nite Owl. Presumably he'll have to balloon to the size of the bloater on the right for the role. Actually, why not just cast her as Nite Owl?

I'm not sure any of them do it for me, but I'll put up with them all if Snyder can just cast Clint Eastwood as Moloch or Hollis Mason or, you know, both.